Why My Marriage Is Working-Nollywood Actress:Dakore Egbuson

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Actor and brand ambassador Dakore Egbuson has joined the league of 40 year olds as she celebrates her birthday in style a few days ago.

A while back ago,Dakore gave an interview where she talked about her career and why her marriage is working. Here are excepts from the interview below:

For Dakore Akande, playing Tola in the popular movie, ‘Fifty’ was no easy task. Since her return to the movie industry in 2012, she has not slowed down playing roles in some of the biggest movies to grace the screens. In this interview with OVWE MEDEME, she talks about marriage, career, motherhood and various issues

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How did you get cast for Fifty?

I auditioned for it just like everybody. We all had to go in the presence of Mo and the awesome Biyi Bandele. I had to perform and they chose me. So it wasn’t like it fell on my laps. I worked for it; I studied for it. I was even coached. I’m not at a point in my career where I feel I know everything and its nice sometimes to make you hungry again. I really wanted to play Tola and I’m glad that it came. The film has been such a success. It’s just a great validation.

Did you find playing Tola a tasking role?

In its own way, it was but Tola is gone. She couldn’t stay around because she was interfering with my stuff, even though she took a long time to come, because she was tough. What she went through was so tough that I couldn’t just access it easily. So I had to really dig deep. And I’m glad I had the support I had. And of course when you have other A list actors, you don’t want to …..

After Fifty, have you done any other work?

There is a reason why I don’t work all the time. I believe as an actor, you embody another character. So same way to embody that character, it takes time to wean you off that character. And if you do work back-to-back, then you have a backlog of all these characters, then you start to have psychological issues. If you take it seriously the way I do, I try to really groom myself, so I need time.

After Fifty, I didn’t work for almost six months, and I’m glad to be in this position that I can take time. Struggling actors don’t really have that option. You have to just be conscious of it so that you don’t add on all these characters. Sometimes, you play some really horrible character and you want to really make sure you get it out of your system because it can really interfere and mess up with you.

What was the last film you were on before Fifty?

Fifty was my seventh film since I returned into  the industry. I had done Journey to Self. That was my first comeback film. It was shot in 2012. I did Unconditional with Uche Jombo. After that, I did a short film called paired. That  only showed online. I did After the I Dos. I was doing different stuff, then I went on stage for Hear Word. I did two seasons with them. I was doing that to hone my talent. My character was so strong and powerful. With all those baby steps, by the time Fifty came along, I was mentally prepared. And I’m glad that it came because Mo Abudu is somebody I respect so much and somehow she always wants me in her projects. So I’ve been really blessed. So when this opportunity came about, it was actually Tope Oshin who called me and the rest is history.

Has acting in anyway interfered with motherhood?

It kind of did, it took me away. I was away from work. Of course I didn’t want to be on set pregnant. And even though I was pregnant with my second child on Unconditional, but no one knew. But after that, I decided I won’t do it again.

Do you enjoy motherhood?

I do, it is amazing; it was hard at first. I hadn’t slept properly since then because when you have kids, they always seek your attention. It was challenging at first, I won’t lie. I was a little bit old when I had my first. I was 33 when I had her so I was already set in my ways. I like to be able to just get up and go, and then I felt really slowed down. It was a bit frustrating but I love the baby and I want to be there for her.

And when I got pregnant for the second one, I was used to it. But I’m happy. I’m really happy that I have both of them. They keep me young. I think part of why people say I look 18 is because I run around with them. It keeps me in touch with that childish side of me. They are amazing. They are the best. My daughter just graduated from nursery school and I was just screaming. She’s so smart.

What do you miss most about your past?

I miss being able to just get up and travel because I’m a gypsy at heart. I love to travel at the drop of a hat. I miss that because now I have to plan. I have to make sure everything is in place before I can even think about it. Unlike before when I get a script, I immediately know whether I want to do it or not, but now, I have to consider several factors.

When I was younger, I could just do stuff. But now, I have to be discerning about what I do because I know my kids will watch and I don’t want to embarrass them or my family. Not to say that anything I’ve done has been embarrassing because I’ve been really lucky. And even when I play controversial roles, it was done with a lot of fun. It wasn’t tacky.

Your wedding anniversaries have been quiet. Why is that?

I don’t want to put our stuff out there.

Are you scared?

I should be scared because of the way marriages nowadays go. My mum tells me to cover my yam. Take care of my business. On his birthday, I post on Instagram but for anniversaries, we like to celebrate it in-house, with the kids.

How long have you been married now?

Six years. We’ve been together ten years but have been married for six.

What are some of the things you do to make it work?

I try to identify the things we have in common and of course accentuate them. I work more on those things. We can’t be the same. I think it would be boring. It’s nice to complement each other but for the things that we have in common, we bond over that and we let it glue us more and more together. And for the differences, we try and talk about them. Believe me, marriage is not easy but its very fulfilling

Does he do any chores?

He does, he takes care of the kids. I like that about him. It’s not a typical Nigerian male thing to do but I think our generation is changing. That dichotomy between a man’s role and a woman’s role, they are merging more and more now and it’s great because it really takes two. It takes two of you to create that child; it takes two of you to take care of that child. It’s not just one person’s job. Even with finances, if you as the mom are capable of doing it, then do it.

And for the husband, if your wife is ill and she’s tired, say ‘oh babe, take a break, let me take care of the kids.’ You should be like that. I think we are just at odds with the old way of doing things, they way our parents used to, the way we want to do things. But I think we just need to forge a new chapter. We can’t keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

Do you speak Yoruba?

A little bit, but I understand it very well. When I speak Yoruba, it’s terrible. Sometimes they call me for Yoruba films and I tell them, you want to laugh at me abi.

Does he speak Yoruba to you?

He grew up abroad. He went to school abroad. He understands it but his speaking is just as bad as mine. I grew up in Lagos so being respectful is second nature to me so I think it really helped.

What is it about the Yoruba culture that you like?

I love the fact that they are big on respect. I love that. I also like that they are a very dominant culture. Their traditions and they way they keep things. Those are the two things I like as an Ijaw babe.

You have always portrayed yourself as a spiritual person. Is that still the case?

Oh yes, I’ve even grown between then and now.  I’m even much more spiritual now. I think it started from the time I had locks. People started to know that this is somebody who’s obviously very conscious. I’ve always been conscious. When I found my consciousness, I just tried to keep on reading more, asking questions and being interested in other religions and trying to understand people better. And it’s brought me to where I am right now. I’m very accepting, very calm and I love it. I hope that I continue to grow spiritually because we grow from stage to stage. I don’t want to stay stagnant in any way.

Why did you ditch your locks?

I was bored. I had it for 13 years and as women, we love to change our hair. We like to be adventurous and I was a little bit stifled. I coloured it, cut it short, and then grew it really long. So I just felt it was time to lose it. It wasn’t really a big deal, though I still have them. I kept them in a box. So sometimes when I miss it, I just go in the box to look at it.

 

Also Read >>  Actor John Dumelo seeks advice for friend about girlfriends

Source:The Nation

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