Wednesday, February 19, 2020
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What Should I Do: I Cannot Get Married or Be A Parent Now?


Sorry if I’ve bothered you in any way. I saw your contact on a Nairaland Forum that you give counseling.

I’m in a very complicated situation and I don’t know what to do.I just rounded up my NYSC in June and I’ve not rented my apartment neither do I have a job.I’m living with my mom,my dad passed when I was 4 years old.

Last two weeks I went on an errand for my mom when I got a call from my mom’s pastors
He asked how I’m doing and after exchanging pleasantries, he told me that he’s seeing children surrounding me.Then he ask for my girlfriend which I had introduced her to him a day he came and held an all night prayers in my moms house.

I told him she was fine and he asked if she was pregnant and I told him no, he ask if I was sure I and I said yes.When I got home I called my girlfriend and ask her if everything was okay with her and she said yes.I told her to go for a pregnancy test, two day later she called me and said she was pregnant.

I didn’t know what to do, i explain things to her and made her understand that this is not the right time. Yesterday my aunt came to our house to spend the night , only this morning I was about going out she called me to sit that she came to our house specifically because of me.

Then she told me the dream she had about me , telling me that she saw me in her dream very sad then she ask me what’s wrong and I told her that I’m not happy.Then she ask what was wrong I complained telling everything is not going well for me and now a girl is pregnant for me and she’s saying that she want abort the pregnancy.

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I stared sharing as I was telling about what I was going through in my dreams.Then she ask me if my girlfriend was pregnant in real life, then I said no.As I went out my mom called my girlfriend they sat her down and ask her if she was pregnant she told them no.

But the truth is that she’s really pregnant.And she told me that by tomorrow she’ll be going to abort the pregnancy.If I ask her to keep the pregnancy, I don’t have the source to marry or take care of my baby.

At same time I’m scared , I don’t want anything to happen to her in the process of aborting the baby.Everything I’m doing to make sure I have money and the small investment I’ve made are all to no avail.

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I’m so very confused, and my heart is so very heavy.

Anonymous from WhatsApp


Photo Credit:ABC

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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello ,

    Thank you for reaching out to us.

    My young man,this is tough love from me:if you are old enough to have sex,you are old enough to carry the responsibility of having a baby. That should be at the back of anyone having sex.

    Calm down though,its not as bad as it seems. Yes,you may not be ready to get married or have the means to raise a child but that’s life.

    When life throws you lemons,you have to learn how to make lemonades.

    My advice maybe old fashioned and unconventional but that is what I would do in my own case. Do not abort.

    Talk to your girl. Assure her everything will be alright. Talk to your families and ask for their help and support.

    Look for a business to start doing,no matter how small . Both of you are young and able bodied,make up your mind to work hard and raise this baby

    Register at a government hospital, its cheaper to get maternity care there.

    Stand up for yourself and your unborn baby. Be a man. You can start doing buying and selling or or any menial work until you get a better job

    Do not be lazy. There is never a perfect time in life. You can do this . Be strong and courageous

    You will be fine . Wish you all the best.

  2. My guy, stand up and shout On your girl, every one is responsible for the outcome of his or her life… Open up to your people so they can support you. Dont be scared


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