Monday, July 13, 2020
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Troubled Relationship?Got Dumped?It Doesn’t Have To Happen Again

Being almost thirty, thirty or more, unmarried and living in a world where a woman and her achievement is nothing if she has no man can be frustrating.

At that age, society expects you to be married and to have pooped babies. That’s why questions such as: what exactly are you waiting for? you’re really beautiful, why are you not married? Is anything wrong? have you prayed enough? pop up. Gosh! How annoying! Must anything be wrong? Really?

These stigmatizations usually make ladies desperate to get a man and in the desperation, make silly errors such as becoming the type of ladies (preys) who lay at men’s (hunters) feet.

Call me old fashioned, but I do not believe in the new theory of sliding into a man’s DM or asking him out if he’s stalling. That is laying at his feet. Men are hunters. And hunters love to hunt. How exactly will things work out if a prey submits itself at the hunter’s feet? No resistance, no challenge.

This is not saying you should play “hard to get”. Take a lion in a zoo for example. It is fed daily or every other day. It puts in no effort to get its meal. Now, if such an animal is returned to the wild, how do you think it would survive? It is probably going to die of hunger as it has become lazy and unaccustomed to hunting for its own food.

This is exactly how men are. They are so used to being chased by either stigmatized/desperate or dumb preys (ladies) that they have become lazy and unwilling to hunt.

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Women as usual created the problem and women have the duty to solve it.

As a lady, it is important to maintain your dignity. Men hardly respect women who chase after them. If a man knows you would do all you can to gain his heart, a stupid part of his brain get activated. That part can be very nasty, and we don’t want that.

So, ladies, one basic rule to follow or learn so as not to get frustrated in your relationships is this: learn how to balance being elusive and being accessible. It is tricky and probably seems tacky, but that is the best way to remain relevant.

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This is simply because once a man believes he has your control button and you are totally his, you no longer pose a challenge to him so he begins to work towards the next “challenging prey.”We don’t want that too.

Ladies, forget the age stigma (if you fall in that category) and get a life, have a life, and live your life. Don’t always be at a man’s beck and call. Even with a ring on your finger, you still need to spend time with family and some friends and generally have a fulfilling life.

The idea is to just keep living. Don’t let your life/world revolve around a man. Be you, acquire needful skills, have fun sensibly and if he’s serious about you, he will do the needful.

Stay relevant.

 

Article Culled from dailyadvent

 

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Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

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