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Tit For Tat- Is Her Fiance Paying Her Back In Her For Her Indiscretion?

My girlfriend was with me all day yesterday,she was blowing hot and all. She has been suspecting her fiance has been cheating recently and she just confirmed it.Their wedding is in January. Precisely the third of January. But she just found out that this guy slept with someone he met on Instagram and she wants to call it off.

The guy has been begging her to forgive him ,that it was a mistake.He is saying that she has to forgive him because when she cheated on him about 18 months ago,he forgave her and that is true. My friend and her guy were just getting to know each other earlier on in their relationship. I think it was like two months into their relationship but her ex came messed up with her head and she ended up sleeping with him.

That made her feel so bad that she called off her relationship. But this guy would not let her go. He said he realized that she made  mistake. She did not even get back to her ex after sleeping with him. So,it was really a mistake. She was vulnerable at the time. The thought if being able to make it work with her ex messed her up bad.

However,this new guy did not mind at all. He forgave her and they have been doing well.They started to make wedding plans this year. In fact,they have done introductions and all. Wedding activities start this week and the church wedding is next week. However,this dude spoilt everything by sleeping with someone he met on Instagram a few weeks ago. Why he did that,we do not understand. He says he was just being too playful and it went too far.

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By him playing the I forgave you before…now you have to forgive me…my friend is loosing her mind. She says that what if he continues to play that card through out their marriage. She fears that she will have no moral justification to confront him. I think she should forgive and forget. After all,marriage is about two forgivers abi? But this girl is stubborn, She wont listen.

She has been threatening to call off the wedding. Please help me advice her..even though I know its not an excuse…how can she not forgive her fiance for the same crime she committed when they were not even that serious? Please help us.

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From Yetunde,

Abeokuta

Photo Credit:Negromansphere

 

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Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

2 COMMENTS

  1. She should forgive but not go on with the wedding, maybe sometimes later

    They should deal with this issue first. She cheated few months into the relationship, her head was messed up by the ex, cheating is cheating, let’s call a spade a spade

    As for the guy, I blame him more. Once you start cheating on your girlfriend sef not even fiancee on social media. It takes grace not to do it physically. What if he has done this before? Cos he was now caught, he didn’t open up to the fiancée after that, he let her to do PI work and she found out. Which one is he was been playful again. Was been playful entails free to cheat?

    Now he’s playing the card of “I forgave you, its your turn to do same”. Abeg, if you’re ready to play that card in your marriage, go on. If not, sort it out before you get married

  2. Hello Yetunde,

    This is a red flag. One that does not mean she can go ahead or not…

    It means,cheating is not a big deal for him…if it is for you,….then pause

    He loves you quite alright…but he is a faithful ”sharer”

    My advice: if you can deal with future re-occurrences…go on with the wedding…if not,its time to move on.

    All the best.

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