Please hide my name and location. I am very upset and I need to talk to someone cos I don’t know what else to do. I have been married for 3 years and I thought things will be better as we been married for these years but it appears to be getting worse.
Sometimes I think my husband loves his mother more than me. I dont think,I know and I can no longer live with it. Ever since we got married,my husband listens more to his mother than me. And if he buys me anything,he must buy her too.
Initially,I did not realize how bad it. I actually thought he was being kind but I realize that it was like a competition now. His parents are wealthy and they live in the same city as us. If my husband buys me a bag,he will buy the same for his mother,if he buys me dress,he must buy for his mother.
Last year,we were planning our vacation,he never mentioned his mother was coming with us until the day we were traveling. I was shocked. That vacation,every picture we took,the mother was there. Everything we did,she was there…its only sleeping together she didn’t do. I swear,if I allowed her,she might also want to sleep in our room.
I asked him why,he said his mother is like his first love. I told him that he needs to see me as his first love and he said : me and his mother are the same in his heart. That is not comforting to hear. Why cant I be first? I swear,he did not display all of these during our 19 months of dating before marriage.
He calls his mother all the time. The mother wants to know everything happening in our home. When I had my baby,the mother bought an entire container of items for my baby. I am grateful but she uses that opportunity to control my husband.
My mother in-law will be telling my husband that I am not taking care of the baby well. For example,she suggests I use a particular baby product and I say: no ma,my baby is already using this one,she will call my husband and tell him I don’t listen and I do not know how t take care of my own baby.
This has led to so many arguments between me and my husband. I have been trying my best to ignore and her manipulations. But to be honest,I feel like a side chic to my husband and his mother is his wife. My husband says I am over reacting.
Two weeks ago,when the talk of social distancing started,my husband was like,we will go to his parents home for a while. I said no, I do not want to go there. He stated accusing me of wanting to separate him from his family. Am like,am I not your real family now?
I am tired of this fights between me and my husband. It appears he does not want to realize that he is now married and he needs to focus his attention on his new family. I will not compete for my husband’s attention with another woman:his mother.
I told him if he insists on going to his parents place for the lock down,I will travel to the east and stay with my parents too. He said fine:you cant take my child with you. This is where I lost it. My son is 11 months old. Does he expect me to leave him with him and his mother?
Where did I go wrong here? Am I asking for too much? Why will my husband choose his mother over me? We have not being speaking to each other for the last 2 days cos of this.Tomorrow,is the day he is going to his parents.
Ma,I am not the type of woman to come in-between a man and his family but this marriage feels like its between me and his mother and my husband. Like they dont care about my feelings.
What do I do? I am thinking of running away with my son today. Maybe pretend to be going to get something and run away from there…I am really so sad and upset. what should I do?
Anonymous LS Telegram member