Good morning ma,
Please share this story for my friend. She is crazy and I don’t know how to help her again. I have bee counseling her for so long but now I think she needs professional help. Me and Dina (not real name) have been friends since university. I know when she had her first boyfriend and I was there every time she had broken up with her boyfriends. We pretty much share each other’s secrets.
Dina is married to Ola. They been married for 22 years. Their marriage has had its turn of ups and downs,but on the average,they are doing ok. Their kids have grown too. Their kids are in boarding school abroad. I do not know if its mid life crises but for the last four years,its like Dina and Ola have been finding it hard to understand each other.
These couple have everything going for them,they live quite comfortably. But I think from what Dina said,they are growing apart as they grow older. Dina is 43 years old and she is tired of her husband. She complains that he does not pay her attention as much as when they were younger but Ola says he is doing everything he can and Dina does not appreciate him enough.
This has been going on for the last couple of years and I have been trying to calm things down for them. Until last two months,Dina drove to my office and demanded we go out cos she wanted to tell me something. I asked why we cannot go to her house or mine,she said because she wants to tell me a big secret.I knew then,there was trouble.
We drove to a restaurant in Ikoyi. And then my friend blurted out: Franca,I want to divorce Ola. This was the first time I saw how serious she was. I asked her why she has come to this conclusion. She said,she and her husband now live like strangers and they do not have any emotional feelings for each other anymore. And she is attracted to her MD who is a divorcee.
I held my head in tiredness. Dina said she and her MD have been flirting with each other but could not go further because she is married and did not want to cheat on her husband. But after trying to sort out the lack of emotions with her husband without success,she has decided too move on. According to her,she and her boss are going to the US for a month vacation and she intends to sleep with him.
I begged and begged Dina. She just looked at me and said its over. That Ola does not do anything to try to repair their marriage and she is tired of waiting. They had not had sex for almost one year. They tried counselling in church but Ola did not commit to counseling. Dina feels Ola may be hiding an affair cos she cannot understand why her husband of 22 years will not find her attractive or make love to her anymore.
As I am speaking with you,Dina is preparing to travel for summer vacation but her husband is not aware she is going with her boss. As her best friend,she made me swear not to tell anyone but my conscience is killing me. I cant even tell my husband. I do not know what to do. I had to tell my husband: he said I should tell Ola but Dina made me swear not to betray her…
Please advice me and my friend.I told her about lively stones,she just laughed and said no relationship expert can help her …..that her marriage is past redeeming…
I asked her to wait for a divorce then before going with her boss but she says there is no need to wait as she knows this is her destiny. She appears to be head over heels in love with her boss. She has even started chatting with the MD’s family,who seem to have accepted her. I am not sure she told them she is married though…
My friend leaves for the US next tomorrow…what am I supposed to do…please advice me…