They Say My Fiance’s Family Has Skeletons In Their Cupboard


Good Day Admin,

I got this number from lively stones and relationship group on Facebook. Please I will like you to give me an advice on this.

I’m dating this guy for a while now and both his parents want me to marry their son. But the problem is my mom advised me to stop going out with him with the reason that his family is not a good one.


My mom said they engage in spiritual things and also, they don’t care for women.We are from the same place so my mom knew them very well. Their males always marry 2 or more.

Even if I want to break up with him, I just don’t know how to do it. Cos, everything I tried failed. He always comes back his love is even new fresh. He was even asking me to marry him this year.I’m just confused

We all have skeletons in our cupboards but what if what my mom is saying is true?? I don’t want to disobey my mom because I know she just want the best for me neither do I want to let go of this guy.

I once told him in a calm way one day that I might not marry him in the future but I realized he will get pissed for sometime then it’s as if his love is even renewed for me.

When I asked him about what my mom said,if he will treat me like his uncles,He said he will not but what if he changes in future.He said I should forget about what my mom said that she just wants the best for me and my mom always reminds me of that.

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But His  father and all his uncles married at least 2 wives.

My biggest problem is I dont want to disobey my mom neither do I want to let him go.

He can even call every hour, calling me pet names and love texts and all sort of things. I’m really confused and I don’t know what to do…


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  1. Hello Dear,

    No need to be confused. First,go to God in prayers,let God open your eyes to see . Do not be in a hurry to get an answer. Perhaps,you can fast and pray as well. If this guy’s family is engaged in spiritual things that are in contrast with your faith,God will reveal such to you.

    However,the guy may not be practicing the same things as his family. I know children from families who do not serve God but their children have chosen a different part to serve God.

    However,if you decide to go on and marry this guy …there may be spiritual battles to fight later on in the marriage if you do not practice what they believe in.You need to be very sure if that is the kind of life you want. You may have to pray your way throughout your life and marriage.Light and darkness have nothing in common.

    Also,is this guy a committed christian if he is not engaged in his family spiritual practices? He cannot e on the fence. Its either he is with them or not…find out.

    You also need to talk to the guy about your fears .His response will determine what you will do. If he vehemently renounces his family beliefs and practices,then,there could be hope…but if he just brushes it aside,then be careful to say yes to him.

    As for him marrying 2 wives in future,you need to ask him what his stance is. Again,his response will determine alot of things.

    I would not want you to disregard your mother’s advice…I think she may be right on this one but do your own investigation to be double sure.

    Be careful and be very prayerful.

  2. ‘But no one is able, having entered into the house of the strong man, to plunder his goods, unless first he binds the strong man. And then he will plunder his house’. Mark 3:27

    There is a spirit of polygamy on the males in your fiancées family.

    A few questions, is he deeply rooted in Christ, a practising Christian, strong willed with good mentors ?
    What are his views on polygamy?
    Or is he simply a nice , romantic man currently in love with you ?

    If He falls in the latter category without much depth in God and he is not strong willed or genuinely resolute to have only one wife , when his guards are down , the influence and forces that make males in his family take a second wife will try to prevail on him and may be successful no matter how much you try to keep your home.

    On the other hand , if He is dedicated to God etc. you have less reason to worry but you should fast and pray , wait for green light from God, if you get it, get him to join you in a fast as you declare relevant scriptures over yourselves, bind the strong man then , after marriage continue in fellowship, have good mentors who you are both answerable to , attend programmes to strengthen marriages, satisfy each other, establish boundaries, don’t keep malice, keep healthy communication lines , respect each other, spend time away together and continue to spice up your love and friendship, don’t give the enemy any room.

    Don’t rush , you need to hear from God to know.

    You need to be told the competition, hurt , pain , effect on finance and children etc. that can come from polygamy.

  3. You need NOT be told the competition, hurt , pain , health risk, effect on finance and children etc. that comes with polygamy.


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