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The Things I Go Through In The Name Of Marriage: Please Help!

Good evening ma,

I recently became a reader of LS. I have learnt so much from your platform. I just want to appreciate you for the work that you are doing. I also want to ask for your advice on the challenge that I am facing. My marriage is young,just going to be 3 years in October.

My marriage is facing serious financial challenges and my husband is not making things easier for us. 4 months to our wedding,my husband lost his job. It was very painful,he wanted to postpone our wedding but I encouraged him that we should still go ahead,we will manage on my earnings. I also have a consumable business where I have a lady managing it.

Due to the fact that my husband did not have a job,he started going to the shop to supervise. At first,it was a good idea cos it means he will monitor what the woman is doing. But before long,I started hearing rumors that my husband was sleeping with this woman. I asked him and he got angry for asking. Then I got pregnant,my pregnancy was a difficult one,I had to quit my job.

That means we only had the shop to depend on. I encouraged my husband to get a job but he always say he is looking for job but nothing has come up. When I send him job adverts,he will say he is not interested in those kinds of job. All I see is that he does not want to work,he just goes occasionally to the shop.

After I had my baby,I had to fire the lady who was managing my business. The business was not doing well. She was busy sleeping with my husband not to concentrate on the business. I decided to manage the business myself until I got a job. Only for one day,the husband of one of my sales girl came to my shop to fight and destroy things. He found out my husband was sleeping with his wife.

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Ma,my business is struggling and I have a husband who is sleeping around. How am I supposed to continue in this type of marriage. My family has come into the matter and asked me to leave the marriage. He does not support me financially. I feed and provide for the family and yet he keeps cheating on me.

I am very sad,I cry most times,now I am just fed up. My son is going to be 2 years and I don’t even want to have a second baby because of the situation of things. He is pressuring me to have another baby but I refused. I am tired and I regret getting married to a man without a job…I need your advice. Is divorce the only way out?


Anonymous LS fan


Photo Credit:Bustle


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello Madam,

    Your story is a tough one. And your marriage is so young. My hope is that you go through this and come out victorious.

    Its sad that your husband is also not supportive but you need to always find a way to keep pushing for better.

    Have you tried to talk to him in a way that he can see the harm he is causing?….Can you speak to someone who he respects to speak to him?

    If he does not want to work,you have to take care of yourself,tend to your business with all you got ….hold on having a baby for now,see how you can grow your business to a point of financial stability first. You may have to ask your husband to stay away from the business for now too.

    Cheating destroys marriages. Ask him if he still wants the marriage …find out what his plans are… takes two to be in a marriage. Where only one is being faithful and supporting the marriage,perhaps its time to re-evalaute the marriage.

    You both need serious professional counseling. Try and get him to counselling. See if he is willing to address the issues at hand. If he is,there is hope for your marriage. If he is not,then you need to start looking out for yourself and your baby’s future.

    I encourage you to also spend some time praying for him. Something is not right: for a man to refuse to work….there is a major problem….anyone who does not work should not eat….he needs a mentor…can you find him one…someone who can help him get his head in the right place?

    Its well with you…its not going to be easy but I encourage you to be strong…take the right decisions ( counselling,prayers,getting a mentor, focus on growing your business) and leave the rest for God.

    God bless you.


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