Please keep me anonymous. I am in a relationship with a lovely lady. We have been together since my NYSC (three years ago). In fact,I served in the same office with her. I like her a lot and I want to marry her. However,I have always had the dream of going abroad to do my masters and I told her,which she always supported me. While,I was applying for admission,she used to even pray for me to get accepted.
While,I was waiting for admission,I finished NYSC and started working in a company. Because she was talking about age and wanting to get married,I proposed to her. My plan was for us to get married in 2019. Maybe towards the end of the year. As God would have it,my admission to study in Germany pulled through. I got my admission in November and I am to resume this January.
While,my fiancee is happy for me,she made a declaration that made things bad. She asked me to take an Oath with her,that I will not leave her and marry someone else when I go to Germany. She said we have to solidify the marriage with a blood oath between two of us. That really surprised me. I thought she trusted me but she said,her cousin was dumped by someone who left her to go abroad after engaging her in Nigeria.
I told her I do not believe in blood covenant and I was not going to do it. She was not happy and said we should break up cos she does not want to be tied down or disappointed. I did not answer her and I think she by herself,broke the relationship. I did not see her before I traveled. I called her and she did not pick up. I feel very hurt and all. And I truly miss her.
Since I relocated here (Germany),I also have been trying to reach her and she has not responded to my calls or sms or whatsapp messages. Until two days ago. I was happy when she replied Hi. I got talking and she was responding. I asked her if she still loves me,she said yes but that I broke her heart by rejecting the blood oath. That if I truly loved her,I would not have denied her. That she made up her mind I am the one for her,that is why she wanted the blood oath.
I told her I was sorry and I explained that trust is enough but she said,my refusal means there is no trust. She said we can be friends and no more lovers because she wants to release me and move on to find someone who is truly her own. After that,she blocked me and I feel so terrible. I feel like I let her down. Now,I actually feel stupid for loosing her just because she wants a blood oath that will bind us together for ever.
Do you think I should agree to her blood oath? My masters is a two years program,I really do not want to loose this lady. I have thought long and hard about it,she actually makes me a better man,she loves me,takes care of me. When I did not have anything,she loved me and prayed for me to get this admission. I feel like I let her down.
What should I do…are there any real dangers of having a blood oath with someone I want to spend the rest of my life with?….please suggestions on how to win this lady back into my life…
John (not real name)