Wednesday, February 19, 2020
Home Ask Jzhane Sexy Or Homely? Please Help Me Choose A Wife Material!

Sexy Or Homely? Please Help Me Choose A Wife Material!

Dear Jzhane,

I need advise. At the beginning of this year,I decided I was going to get married before the end of the year. But as the year draws near to an end,I am afraid I will not find someone to get married to. I am 39 years old. A successful banker.

The problem is not because I have not found anyone,the problem is because there are two of them and I am finding it hard to choose. I am in a relationship with two ladies and I am darn confused who to pick. I am hoping you can help me decide.

Justina is lady no 1. She is what some guys will call ideal wife material. She is well brought up,a Christian,calm and nice. I like her personality. Also a good cook,homely and all that.

Lady no 2 is Lilly. Lilly is fun and hot. My type of girl but not what people call wife Lilly and I have such a great chemistry but she will never be that type of girl that would do what Justina does.

Both ladies do not know about each other and I feel like I should either pick one before they find out but I am confused. Justina,as much as I like her,I fear that I may get bored with her quickly in marriage. She is very conservative. Does not like to go out which I do.

She is not sexually exciting which is a huge difference with Lilly. Lilly is a bad girl in bed. I like s*x. I am not going to be shy about that. Lilly is that type of girl that knows how to satisfy me. Being with her is very fun. But Lilly is also as ambitious as I am. She also works in the bank. A career lady and she loves her career.

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Lilly is not the type to do things for herself. She has several assistants for that. So,I see her as someone who is not hands on on the home front. We smoke together. I need someone who can be a better influence on me like Justina who is always encouraging me to quit smoking.

Lilly and I would hit the club together, Party till late. Have sx for days and travel around the world,spending money on luxury life. But Justina comes around,cooks,cleans and washes. Smiles nicely. Sx with her is unadventurous. I have tried several time to make her up the game but she feels too shy and actually withdrawn when I do that.

If the lights are not off,she wont even make love. She wont go down on me. She wont let me go down on her. Much as I like her,I feel she is too laid back. We have been together for two years and I see no changes in her.

I want to get married. Lilly and Justina have their advantages and disadvantages. How do I choose one of them? I wish I can find someone that is a mix of both. Why can’t I have that. A mix of sexy and homely? I want to be happy when I get married. I do not want a reason to cheat in marriage.

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If you were in my shoes,what would you advise. I have been with Justina for 2 years. I have been with Lilly for 4 years (on and off anyways). I need too make a choice. Pick one or let both of them go? Is there a woman out there that can be what I desire from these two women? Or perhaps there is no perfect woman….I am confused.

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If I choose either of them,will I be truly happy in marriage? Sometimes I feel like marrying Justina and keeping Lilly as a baby mama (which she will not mind). But I dont want to be a douche bag. Am sure people may see me as bad for even saying that….

From my situation,I see how it can be possible for you to be in love with two women…am darmed….Please be frank with me. Whats should I do? Its decision time for me.

Thank you.


Frank (Not real name)


LS Blog Reader


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello Frank,

    So lets be frank ok?…lol

    Truth be told,you will never find a partner that is 100% what you desire. The fact that you are with two women at the same time is making it even hard for you to make a decision. You should date one at a time. And when you are with one woman,you should be faithful to that one woman…..explore her and let her explore you…do not make comparisons.(without the sex)…no two women are the same.

    If you are entirely honest with yourself,you already know who you want to choose. You want that woman that you can picture getting old with. That woman that shares your dreams and aspirations. That woman that compliments,respects and loves you more than anything

    You also want that woman that gets you. The one that you can have a conversation easily with. Someone who shares your humor and gets it when you feel down. The one who challenges you to be a better man.That is the woman for you.

    The woman that fits the above description is the one you should choose.

    Please do the right thing. Stop leading both women on. Like you said,its decision time.

    I hope the above helps.



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