RE:My Father’s Lies & Betrayal-Nathan Responds (Contd From Yesterday)


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Good Morning Admin,

Thank you for sharing my story on your blog yesterday. I actually took some of the advice I got and I had a discussion with my dad yesterday. I called him and told him to meet me at my place last night. He came around 9pm. I told him I had decided to tell Mom about his infidelity with Aunty Nancy and that I wanted him to have the opportunity to do it himself or I will.

My dad got very angry and started shouting at me. He said I dont know how much he has sacrificed for my mom and us. That he was not the one with fertility issues. That my mom had lived a bad life before marriage. Had so many abortions and in marriage had problems with her womb so she couldnt get pregnant. That he didnt judge her but she deprived him of having his own biological children. He said he didnt plan to sleep with Aunty Nancy but at the time,my mom was more focused on her career than him and he was very lonely.

According to him,he has placed everybody’s happiness first before his for many years and that he will not do that anymore. He said if I went ahead to tell mom,he would disinherit me and that there is no way he would let me marry Maya because he raised me as his son and even though I am adopted,he cannot see two siblings marry. We had a very heated argument. I told him to hell with his inheritance. I want Maya and that was final.

My dad left still very angry last night but he said that he will not tell my mom and advice me not to,cos telling her will only make things worse. He feels he has lived his life and has nothing to loose. Before he left angrily,I asked him why he was still sleeping with Aunty Nancy even after 20 years…he said:Son,you cannot understand some things,that I should better let it go.

After he left,I was actually fuming so much,I called Maya and told her everything. She started to cry and told me her mother had already told her apparently after I bumped into her banging my dad. I asked her what she thinks,she said she is going with whatever decision I took cos she is in love with me. I told her that I wanted to tell my mom but she is scared that my mom may not agree to us being together knowing that could mean,the person who made her husband cheat on her would be her inlaw for the rest of her life.

Now,I am torn. I dont know what to do. I hate my dad so much for ruining this for me. Like one of the comments read yesterday,what if my mom discovers tomorrow,she would probably never forgive me for keeping quiet. And now,my dad has vowed to never allow me marry Maya.

I woke up this morning feeling very heavy in my heart. I think I may have to do what is best for me and Maya. Perhaps,we should elope and leave our parents behind t sort their issues. I havent told Maya yet,I am not sure how she will react to this. Another person whom we havent even considered is my other adopted sister. I mean,how will she take this? Maybe I should tell my mom and sister after we have eloped?That way,no one can separate us and by then,we would have also let my mom and sister know the truth.

What do you think of my options ma?



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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Dear Nathan,

    First of all,I see you are very angry,so I suggest,dont take any drastic decisions,try and give it a few days of thought before doing anything.

    If you can,spend some time praying for guidance on what to do.

    Eloping is just a temporary fix to the situation….while that may seem like a temporary solution,are you ready to face the fact that you are married to the daughter of someone who cheated on your mother with your father?

    This is not an easy solution matter…whatever decision you take,will be tough but also be ready to live by them consequences no matter what.

    All the best.

  2. You need to sit down and go over the decisions you are about to take. the impact its going to have on your family. its a dicey situation but are you sure want to be the one to break this news to your mom. You might be adopted but he is your father and has been your father in every way. if their is anyone dt has the responsibility of owning up to this situation to your mom its your father. what i will suggest is dt you break up whatever you have with Maya as difficult as dt might be and let your father know dt Maya’s mom has to stop working for you guys.

  3. What a dicey story. Pls Nathan in the midst of your anger. I want u to know that ur dad values and loves aunty Nancy more than your adopted mom. Living together and enjoying intimacy and relationship under everyones nose. No wonder it lasted these years and she also has a child which your mom couldn’t. Don’t push him to choose. In as much as I would like for your mom to know the truth( I wonder how she never noticed) be prepared for the worst bc at the end of the day your mom will be the most hurt.Pls don’t be selfish in your decisions and actions. Consider everyone as you take actions. God will give you supernatural wisdom to handle this.


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