Monday, January 20, 2020
Home Advice Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me!

Our Marriage Maybe Seriously Falling Apart: Please Advise Me!

Hello LS,

Before I got married my husband said he needed 2 children while I wanted twins but our second pregnancy was twins so we had 3 instead. Then I took implant so to avoid getting pregnant again but my system became messed up that my monthly flow would last for 2 to 3 weeks.

So after 3 years I decided to remove it so to get back myself only for me to get pregnant instead and I found out when I was already 3 months gone and the pregnancy is causing me to be in so much pain that I can’t move at times making my husband do everything at home cause i’m always in bed

Now I discovered my husband is chatting another lady calling her babe and the rest although he assured me that he accepts this baby but I feel we are getting apart by the day.what do you suggest i do?

I can’t even have proper sex with him because my heart rate increases and I can’t move afterwards. Yes he was the one who took me to the hospital for removal we have been together for 11+years now

Just before I got pregnant I was having a lot of guys wooing me that my husband became very active in his affections towards me and it made me feel like I’m being courted again then this happened

The worst part is that I’m in physical pain. I can’t satisfy his desires. He even made me watch porn movies with him but I’m just too tired to respond to him. I have never been like this but I don’t know why.

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He has no parents as they pass away his senior brother just got married and always asks for marriage tips from us so saying this to him now I just can’t bring myself to do so.

Should I still keep the baby although I can’t bring myself to do anything to my child i just feel all this wouldn’t have come up if I didn’t get pregnant.

Anonymous LS Member

 

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Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

1 COMMENT

  1. Hello madam,

    First, you will have to calm down and take a deep breathe. I know you may feel pain but just relax please. Try and relax.

    Your marriage is going through what soem marriages go through: a tough time.

    So sorry things are happening the way they are but my questions are:
    1. Despite all these,does your husband love you?
    2.Have you had a conversation with him om these things hurting you?
    3. Can you both quickly arrange to see a therapist?
    4. Have you gone to see the doctor? why are you having heart issues?
    5.Does your husband understand how these things are hurting you…is he willing to discuss and try to address some of these issues?

    Many questions but please do not do anything to your unborn baby. Get help quickly. From your mother or some one who can be of emotional support to you now.

    Try to stay calm. Pray about this. Do not allow his chatting with other ladies get to you. He clearly has a porn or flirting problem ….if he is open to therapy,that can help address it.

    There is so much to live for and I want you to be courageous and be resolved to not let this situation win you..you will win this…

    All you need to do is calm down…talk to your husband…or both of you get to counseling and therapy and figure out a way out of these issues.

    You also should see a medical practitioner to advise on your heart rate.

    Hang in there and please be in touch.

    God bless you.

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