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Our Marriage Is Threatened By Addiction:Please Help!

Hello ma,

So the problem is:me and my husband have been married for a year but both of us are working in different towns (not too far apart ). We kinda try to see each other like every 4 to 4 days sha.

My husband takes care of me, respects me,does every thing a girl could want but I recently came to know that my husband is a porn addict and he likes to sext and send his nudes on online dating apps .

The sole purpose is to watch erotic things and satisfy himself. I don’t like this thing and I had found out all in his mobile and confronted him many times so he says thats he just need to masturbate after some time.

That the only thing he does is watch porn and not more than this. I got offended and accused him of cheating . But the truth is he does sext with strangers and watch porn every day. What should I do so that he just stop all this . I feel so betrayed.

When we were dating, he told me was sexually abused by his their domestic staff (nanny and all). He has tried to go for therapy and he is much better but yet he still watched porn.

My husband is a good human being but he does not want to admit that he is an addict and he gets angry when I talk to him about it. But this makes me so sad…

 

Please advise me.

 

Anonymous Post fromLS Kenyan Fan

 

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Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

1 COMMENT

  1. Hey,

    So sorry about your situation. But you have a serious situation on your hand and what you need is a professional therapist.

    Porn addiction is a habit that cannot be broken without help and determination.

    And I am glad your husband has been seeing Therapists. I told you its a long process. But he should not relent.You also have to be supportive.
    He needs to avoid movies that trigger the urge for masturbation and porn addiction. Avoid porn sites and similar sites.

    But he cannot do it by just trying to do it on his own. He needs a coach…he needs guidance…he needs a support unit.

    And above all…he needs prayers and love and God to help him.

    The first step though is: he must identify that he needs help and he is determined to get help to stop.

    That is the first step…so have a heart to heart conversation with him and lets take it up from there.

    Now, is he willing to commit to making a change?

    You both need to attend these therapy sessions together this time. So you can know how to help him.

    Prayers and prayers too. Do you go to church? Pray and surround yourselves with the right support groups and mentors.

    Let him seek and nurture a relationship with God and God’s word. Let him continue to confess God’s word to his life.

    Let him intentionally fight the urge…fight as if his life depends on it….

    Do you have children?…its a fight so his children will be proud of him.Let him know how this behaviors can destroy his home and children whom he loves

    Is he willing to sacrifice his family for his addiction?He needs to begin to look at his life and what he wants to make of it

    Does he want his children to be proud of him or ashamed of him?

    Is he ready to let God and you help him?

    So many questions…I can refer a life coach to you or counselor if you want.

    Stay blessed.

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