Good day Ma,
Thank you for taking time to help me. I have been looking foe someone to talk to for some time now. I am a married woman,been married for three years and I have two children. Right now,I need advice on what to do in my marriage. My husband and I dated for almost two years before marriage. We met in church. We were in the same activity group in church. He was a leader in church. It was his passion for the things of God that attracted me to him.
Since we got married,I began to discover some things about him that people in church are not aware of. I suffer serious emotional neglect and lack of understanding from my husband.In church,he is one of the nicest person anyone could meet. He gives the church so much money and assist a lot of people outside financially. But at home,he barely gives me anything. Before I got married,I was working in the bank but I quit my job to take care of my children. My husband is not a poor man. At least I know that because he gives in millions to the church and outsiders. He only gives me like N10 -20k in a week and that is no where enough to take care of the house bills. We used to quarrel about this and I wondered why he treats me this way. He would argue that’s the only money we has.As a result of his behavior,I started a buying and selling business after my second child became 5 months old. I make some money but it is still not enough and my husband wont help me.
Another area I am having issues with is:my husband wont assist me with any house chores and most times I am always tired and I break down from doing all the chores myself. The children can be crying and I am cooking,he will not even offer to assist. Yet he would leave his dirty clothes and plates everywhere floor me to pick up and wash.He asked me to get a house-help which I did but he refused to pay the house help salary and I could not afford it so the house help had to stop. I got a relative,my elder brother’s daughter to come and live with us to assist but she left after two weeks. I am really pained that he does not want to help me.
As Christians,we ought to pray together but he does not want to pray with me. He also has not touched me in almost three months. In fact since I had my second child I can count how many times we slept together.We also don’t talk to each other. He just comes back from work every day,eats his food and goes to sleep everyday. I feel so sad and confused. Every time I try to talk to him,he gets defensive and says that I nag too much. That he is doing everything to make me happy but I am not satisfied.
I don’t want to report him to our pastor in church because of his position. Many will not believe me if I tell them what is happening because he is such a nice man. Please ma,what can I do? I am very unhappy and frustrated. I have asked him to tell me if I offended him in anyway so I can amend my ways but he says there is nothing wrong,yet,things are not getting better but getting worse.
I reached out to you because my friend talks highly of you. Please advice me,what should i do ma?
From Mrs P,
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