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Wife Says Am Not Romantic:Is This A Sign Of Trouble For My Marriage?

Hello Lively Stones,

Please help me make sense of this situation. My wife is always complaining that I am not romantic enough. I try my best but she always complains. Sometimes,I just ignore her nagging. We had a quarrel one time and she actually said she has been with more romantic guys than myself. In my anger,I told her to go and meet those guys since I was not good enough for her.

Last week,she told me she would like us to go and watch movies at the cinema on Friday.  I told her I would try but I was not going to guarantee cos its year end in my company and I have a huge work load to finish. That Friday,I sent her a text message when it was almost time that I couldnt make it,she should go on with me. She went and saw a movie without me. She got home and told me the movie was cool but she was very cold towards me,obviously cos I didnt make it.

Well,on Saturday evening,I was chatting with a friend who said he thought he sighted me and my wife at the movies yesterday. I told him he was wrong,that I was not at the movies with my wife,only my wife. He said well,he could be wrong cos he could swear he saw a couple looking like me and my wife. He went on to describe what my wife was wearing and the man he thought was myself. The description was close enough,my wife was wearing a navy blue dress with long braids. That matched her description. The description of the man with her was not me. He said he was trying to catch our attention but he was also in a hurry to catch up with someone else.

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After the chat,I asked my wife if she saw a movie with someone yesterday,she looked at me and said what do you mean? I told her,Frank saw you cuddling a man at the Cinema yesterday. She replied ha…nooo,we were not cuddling o,we just hung out. At that point,I said so who is the guy that you were hanging out with,she looked at me and said,if I tell you now,you will start talking. I didnt understand her. I was pretending to be very angry and she now said:ok,I ran into Kelvin at the mall yesterday. He said he was seeing the same movie as me,so we decided to go together. We just watched the movie and hung out thats all.

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Kelvin is my wife’s ex. They dated for four years before me. He is into the entertainment business and I sometimes feel like my wife still has a thing for him. So hearing that he and my wife saw a movie got me thinking all kinds of thoughts. My wife and I quarreled that evening and she kept saying I was being paranoid and that if I was there at the movies with her,none od these would have happened.

I am still upset with my wife. But tell me,am I being unreasonable?Is it ok for a wife to go watch a movie that she planned to watch with her husband with her ex boyfriend? Could my wife be already cheating on me or planning to? Cos,its like my wife always telling me I am not romantic will soon cause serious problems for us.

Please advice me.



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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello Joshua,

    Your wife may actually be giving you strong signals that you need to pick up. If she says you are not romantic,why not work on being romantic?…Go to the movies with her..dont let anything else be more priority than your wife.

    Cos,from experiencing,a woman that is emotionally starved is very vulnerable to men who show them the least attention…thats your dont let another man do your job for you

    As for being with her ex…shes playing with fire…it may be innocent now but if this continues,there is definitely danger lurking around.

    Take care of your marriage please…little things like this cause divorce….

    God bless you.


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