The story we are about to share came to us about seven months ago. The owner of the story at the time requested that we do not share her story. But in light of present happenings,she has given us permission to share her story. We ask for understanding not judgement …we ask for prayers and sound advice as we treat this story together. God bless.
I am a troubled woman and I need your help and advice. I am 34 years old. I am married with two children. I carry a burden and a heavy secret for years. I have not been able to speak to anyone about it. I thought I could leave my past behind but that past just has refused to leave me be.
Many years ago,as a young teenager,I used to be very smart, bubbly and pretty. I was called the prettiest of my sisters. Everyone was really fond of me. I enjoyed the attention.Because of that,my step brother used to allow me come to his room to watch TV. He was the only sibling with personal TV in our house. He is the first son of our father from another woman who he divorced before he married my mother.
Ours was a big extended family. I had 5 half sibling and 3 siblings from my mother. There was no division in our house. My mother treated everyone of us like her children. Well,except me. I was everyone’s favorite. And my big step brother’s favorite too.
One of the days my big brother allowed me come to his room,he was watching an x-rated movie. That was my first introduction to adult movies. He made me promise not to tell anyone. I felt special,it was our own special secret. I began to look forward to coming to watch these movies in his room.
The one day,my big brother began to touch me. I already watched this on the movies. I did nothing to stop him. He had his way with me. I think I was around 14 years old. He was 22 years old. It was horrible but he calmed me,telling me that it was because it was my first time. The next time was not as painful. That is how I started a sexual relationship with my step brother which lasted for years.
We became so close. I did this with him through out secondary school and during my polytechnic. Everyone just admired our ‘brother/sister’ relationship without knowing what was going on. He introduced me to pills so I never got pregnant. He used protection sometimes. When I had my first boyfriend in school,I was afraid to tell him. He had completely owned me.
He also had moved from our family house,gotten married and was living with his family but we always found a way to meet to have s*x. By the time I graduated and got a job as a Teacher,I had to leave to another city. That was the first time that I would be separated from him for a long time. I stopped going home. I was in a relationship with my husband who was my boyfriend at the time.
When we got married,my step brother tried to manipulate me to have s*x with him during the time I came home for the traditional wedding. It was the first time I would reject him. He was so disappointed. He boasted that I am his and will always be. Ever since I got married,I tried to avoid him at all cost.
I must confess,I found myself day dreaming about my brother even when am with my husband. I do not think any man can match my step brother in terms of performance. We had watched porn for so long and tried every trick in the game. I wished my husband could perform like him. I fantasize about him most times.
However,my dad passed in February this year. We had to come home for the burial. All the children came with their families. I came with my husband and children. The burial was done after like a week and a family meeting was going to be called. My husband had business meeting so he left me in the house with the children.
The family meeting held and everyone retired for the night. My step brother sent for me. He actually sent someone(a relative who was around for the burial)and requested I come with that person to his room. I actually went because I thought this person was going to stay with us in the room. But soon as the person got to his room,he turned back and left.
My elder brother wasted no time and descended on me. I tried to struggle but before long I was enjoying it. He was my first and I will never be able to resist him. He knew everything about me. Taught me everything I knew about s*x. He knew where and how to touch me. I spent all night with him (his wife was visiting her own parents) and I left the next day.
I cannot describe how this made me feel. I felt like I betrayed my husband but at the same time,I knew I had carnal love for my step brother that made it seem right. In the midst of this.I got pregnant. It was definitely from that night from my step brother. I never used protection as a married woman so I forgot to use one after the encounter with my brother.
I was confused. I tried to arrange an abortion. But my husband was very observant. Said my breast gave me away. I just cannot tell him this baby is not his. What am I going to say? That my elder brother had s* x with me? Or should I say he raped me so he can allow me have an abortion? This baby must not be allowed to live,it is a curse…what should I do…should I tell my husband my secret or just lie that my brother raped me? I think he might be more forgiving if he thought it was rape…
On another thought…If I accuse my brother…my family will be devastated by this…this is really too much for me to bear….
I need your advice…
Anonymous Woman from Kogi State.
Photo Credit:VeryWell Family