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My Sister In-law Is The Worst Character: How Do We Tell Her?

Hello,

I need advise. I am a married woman,married for about four years. My husband got admission to do his masters abroad and so he did not want me to stay all alone by myself. He asked me if his elder sister who is not married can come and stay with us.

I am pregnant with my second child,my first is about 2 years old. I agreed to let his sister come and live with us as no other relative will be willing to come anyways. So,June this year, my sister in law moved in with us.

I have always known my sister in law to be a mouthy woman but living with her is another ball game. She has loud mouth and wants to chuk her mouth where is not her business. Of course,she has chuk her mouth in my matter but I try to ignore her. My main issue is that,she is now taking her nasty behavior outside.

Within this period that she is with us,she has become friends with neighbors and all she does is gossip about one neighbor to another neighbor. Initially,she will sound sweet and friendly but soon enough,she begins to talk about people behind their backs.

Now,my neighbor are fighting because of her. She went and told one neighbor that her husband was sleeping with the maid of the other neighbor. Both ladies have started fighting each other. And then she told one neighbor’s husband that she likes him,only for her to turn around and say the man is chasing her.

My sister in-law even told my husband that I dont treat her well. I don’t allow her freedom in the house. Just because she brought a male visitor one day and  she told me the man is her boyfriend but he is married. Of course,I did not speak to a married man cheating on his wife with my sister inlaw.

Also Read >>  Help: My Mother In-Law Is Seriously Frustrating & Annoying Me

My sister inlaw is 38 years old,9 years older than me. So even though, my husband knows she has bad character,he is careful with how he speaks to her. We realize how much mistake we have made by bringing her and truly don’t know how to get rid of her.

I need your advise. How do we ask her to leave our house without making her feel bad?….I admit sometimes I feel sorry for her. She is always lamenting that she is old and not married. I tell her am praying for her but how do I tell her that its her character that may be chasing men away from her?

Please advise me. The issues with her are too much. I cant even look my neighbors in the eyes.  I am avoiding them cos of the trouble my sister in-law caused. I feel like confronting her and telling her to mind her business.

Sarah (Not real name)

Lagos

 

Photo Credit:Motherhood In Style

Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

2 COMMENTS

  1. Hello Sara,

    Hmm,wisdom the bible says is profitable. You need alot of wisdom to deal with this matter. Especially because she is an older inlaw.

    Well, I would suggest that your husband be the one to ask her to leave if you guys have agreed that is the best thing to do. Is there anywhere you can travel to? That could be a perfect excuse to let her go,tell her that you are traveling and do not want anyone in the house,that way you can get rid of her.

    But as for her character,its not your place to address it. Let the older members of the family do so. Just pray for her. Being single and no suitor tends to make people act in very unpleasant manners sometimes. Its the pressure they put on themselves.

    Let your husband speak to her about talking to neighbors. She needs to mind her business,let her brother be the one to tell her that. Apologize to your neighbors and don’t feel bad…its not your fault.

    Go ahead and travel if you can…and then tell her to leave …when you return,don’t ask her to come back…get a house keeper to help out of you cannot get any other family member to help.

    Be diplomatic….pray about this…God will guide you..

    Cheers

  2. Hello Sara,

    Avoid any confrontation with her.

    Exactly what I was thinking, agree with your husband, find somewhere to travel to, hint subtly you’ll be travelling, then let your husband call her firmly to reiterate the same thing, thanking her and letting her know the house will need to be vacated for that period so she can return home, don’t divulge a return date , after you return let your husband let her know you have found someone else to help out so she does not return , change your locks if he will let herself in, let these come from your husband not you .

    In future, don’t agree to someone coming to live with you if your spirit says no from the start or starting a project with alarm bells in your spirit .

    If the situation with your neighbours is so bad, when you are in a position to ( much after baby’s conception), you can relocate.

    All the best

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