Saturday, January 18, 2020
Home Advice My Mother Or My Brother-law: Who Is More Important?-Pt 2

My Mother Or My Brother-law: Who Is More Important?-Pt 2

Editor’s Note:

The Story below is a follow up from yesterday’s post. If you missed the post ,click here. This dear young lady is asking for further advise. Kindly drop your opinion on the matter.

God bless.

Jzhane

Hello ma,

I read all the responses from our members today. I just want to thank you ma and everyone for your advice. Yes, I was really angry but reading all your responses, I am calm now.

To be honest,I did not think that I can ask my husband to ask his brother to share a room with him or my mother. I told my mother and she has no problem with it. My husband too says he will tell his brother the situation of things.

Ma,I am glad I have people like you to advise me because I was actually quite surprised at my husband’s sudden take that his family has more right to our home than my family. You know,we hear stories of inlaws trying to come into the home and make the wife like second class.

I truly hope my husband is not like that. Yes,I am going to seek peace in my marriage but do you think I should ask him to retract that statement? I do not want that kind of statement ever again. You said something yesterday: everyone is important but my marriage and peace is more important.

How do I go about talking to him about this…or should I just ignore that statement? What if he truly believes that. Today,its his brother….tomorrow might be his mother or father…I want to talk to him about it but I also want to know how to say it so it does not result to another quarrel.

Also Read >>  My Ex and I Are Flirty and I Dont Care That His Wife Knows

Please advise me…

 

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Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

1 COMMENT

  1. Hello again,

    Thank God you and your husband have been able to resolve the situation.

    In marriage,there will be trying times like this.I may have observed that you and your husband have some maturing together to do. Your marriage is young….you are still practically in the honey moon stage,you are both getting to know each other indept now.

    My take: take it one day at a time. Do not try to question every word or decision he takes. Remember to allow him be the head of the home. Of course,your opinion counts but you must learn how to communicate your concerns in the best way that will yield the best results.

    If you demand an explanation…he will feel like you are questioning his authority. But you can still ask him the same question in the smartest way and he will answer you and you can even help him adjust his mindset most times.

    Communication is key in marriage. Learn the best form of communicating with your husband.Let your communication be non threatening…reassuring and respectful.

    You can indeed get clarification from your husband on the statement if you ask him as advised below. I would advise you to wait a little while though before you ask him. Let the dust truly settle first.

    And then be ready for his response: if he still maintains his stance that his family is more important,what will you say or do? You have to be ready for a smart and diplomatic answer so that you can both be on the same page at the end of the day.

    People’s beliefs are as a result of mindset formed from several years of practice…it will take a while to make a man drop some of his beliefs. So focus on the behavior…not the individual. Remember, your husband is not your enemy.

    You need to grow your emotional intelligence….be prayerful….be wise….and be loving….

    God bless you.

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