Abeg,hide my name and number. I have a serious problem. This problem has been there since we got married in 2014 but now,it seems there is nothing that can be done anymore to save my marriage.
I found out that my husband was cheating on me with a girl in his office. I will never have found out because I never saw him as a man who would do this. Agreed,we are having problems with our s*x life but I did my best to make him happy. I did not expect him to go that far to make himself happy. Maybe I was foolish to think that with time,he would be okay with me and he would forget about everything.
After we got married,I discovered my husband wants oral and anal sx. I discovered this immediately we got married. I am not a fan of these kinds of sxual acts and I told him so but he kept demanding until I had to agree to the oral part like two years after constant nagging, arguing and quarreling about this. I however refused to do anal and that has been the bane of our disagreement.
Truth is,I love my husband but I not only think it is wrong of him to want anal cos God did not create s*x to be done anal. I also find it quite discomforting and I am scared of the pain and side effects I will have to face if I undergo this. And so,I have explained to him that I do not want to do it but he has never ceased to make trouble out of it.
Several times,he threatened to go out and get someone who is ready to do this for him. I kept quiet. I told him only prostitutes will do this. For the next couple of years,I thought things were fine cos I left the anal s*x matter alone. He seemed to let it die down a little.But anytime he tries to penetrate from behind,I fight him off. That is how we have been living and he has been telling me I am pushing him out of the marriage by denying him.
About four months ago,I went for a meeting in V.I. After my meeting,I decided to visit my husband in his office in V.I also. Maybe,we could go home together since I had no intention of going back to my office for the day.When I got to his office, most people had gone out,only one or two persons were around in the open office. I greeted them all and walked to my husband’s office.
On getting to the front of his office,I noticed his secretary was not on sit. I was sure my husband was in because I had seen his car parked outside.I found it odd that his office door was shut but maybe whoever locked it,did not check to see that it was properly locked. Lo and behold,I walked in on my husband and his secretary having sx..not just sx but anal s*x in his office. That was when I knew it was over. There was serious problem.
Of course,I left them the office immediately. As I went home,I thought of stopping at the third mainland bridge and just ending my life. I did everything for this man. This one thing…just this one thing,he could not stay faithful to me?
Jzhane, I have been so broken by this revelation. My husband came back home that day and had the effrontery to blame me for pushing him to another woman. I have been battling with myself and I do not know if I should file for divorce. I have two children under five years old. What will happen to them?This is not the life I pictured for them.
After a lot of crying,back and forth,We went to counseling. My husband later began to beg me for my forgiveness and now,he wants us to work on our marriage. I feel this will be futile. I know he will never be able to stay without anal s*x and I am not sure I am wiling to do subject myself to that for the rest of my life. If he loved it so much to cheat …what says he cannot do that again?
I am thinking of going to report him to his people. But he has forbidden me from every speaking to them about this.My sister begged me to try and learn how to give anal. But the problem too is that,my husband is way above the normal size. My first attempt was horrifying. This was even after I tried to force myself to want to do it just to save my marriage.
I am at ends wit. Is this the end of my marriage ? What else can I do?
From Mrs L
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