Wednesday, February 26, 2020
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My Man Cheated With His Ex: Is This A Sign To Dump Him?

Good evening ma,

I need your advise. I started dating a man who has a baby mama with twins. They had a fling he said…not like they were dating but she got pregnant and had twins for him. His children are 3 years old.

This man loves me so much and he shows it alot but I have an issue with the baby mama. She is manipulative. She calls him all the time in the name of calling about the children. I noticed her tricks and told my man but he said nothing will ever make him go after her again.

Well, this baby mama lost her mother and the burial was last month. To show support,my man not only gave her money but he attended the burial. My man did not tell me but I found out from the babymama a few day later.

This woman sent a message to my man,thanking him for a lovely time. That his action shows that he is still in love with her and she is ready to be patient until he claims her so their children can have both parents as a family.

The text message came as a screen notification. I was suspicious,so I asked my man what she meant by lovely time and why is the woman saying she will be patient? I asked him if she was giving him mixed messages and he said yes. But that he always ignored her.

That made me call the babymama and furiously told her to stay in her lane. She cursed me out and said she already slept with my man and there is nothing I can do about it. When I confronted my man again,he was quiet and said sorry …that he made a mistake.

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It was during her mother’s burial. That she was vulnerable and he tried to be there for her and that she requested he just spending the night with her and that was how they slept together.

I broke up with my man. I feel betrayed and obviously suspect he is not over his baby mama. Its very painful because I love him. He too has been begging me,sending people to beg me. I want to say yes to him but I am scared that as long as his babymama is around…he may still go after her.

What do I do ma? Apart from this issue,this is the best relationship I have ever had in my life. This man cares for me,the way no other man has. I thought of telling him that the only way,I would agree is if he agrees never to be alone with the babymama in one room.

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But I know that may not be possible….he said he will ensure that…should I give him a second chance? Please advise me.


Anonymous LS member


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello,

    The truth is,your man will always have his babymama around as long they have kids together.

    You need to think long and hard if your are ready for this kind of relationship.It takes maturity to stay sane and make this type of relationship possible. especially when you know the babymama is still trying to get your man.

    You can choose to forgive him…if you can manage the constant drama that will follow. But if you cannot handle it. Thank him for his friendship and move on.

    Making boundaries will not help much. But you can try. You need more time to tell if this is going to work.

    So,what do you want to do? Give him more time…watch if he truly will respect you and stay within the boundaries or just ignore the babymama and consider being in a polygamous relationship or something like that…

    Wish you all the best.

  2. I don’t agree with jzhane, I think you should work away. If he was really serious and respects you,he wouldn’t have attended the burial because they were not married. There would be more drama in the future ,if you continue. Please work away.


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