Wednesday, February 26, 2020
Home Advice My In-Laws Have Done Nothing But Humiliate Me:Please Help!-Pt 2

My In-Laws Have Done Nothing But Humiliate Me:Please Help!-Pt 2

Editor’s Note:

This is a follow up (summary) from a story we ran a while ago. Click here if you missed the first story. Please read,share and give your advise.

Cheers.

Jzhane

 

Hello Ma,

Happy new year. I just want to give you an update from the last time.  I took the advise I got here and followed my husband to the village. And I swear,I regret that decision.

We got to the village and things were ok. We moved into the new house my husband built. His younger brother and his wife came to stay with us too. I cooked for everyone and we celebrated the new house.

After cooking and serving everyone,I asked my brother in-law’s wife to help with the dishes since I cooked but she ignored me. The next day,I woke up and washed all the dishes myself. This continued into the new year.

A day after new year day,I told my husband to allow me return to the city since the Christmas and new year holidays were over. He started arguing with me. He said he is not ready to return to the city. So I told him to buy bus ticket for me to return.

I wanted to return so I can also prepare my children who were returning back to school on the 6th of January.  Since he refused to let me go,I went to see my relative in the village and when I came back,my husband pounced on me and began to beat me.

He accused me of disobeying him and going behind his back to buy the bus tickets to return to the city. All my efforts to explain to him that I did not buy any tickets fell on deaf ears. He beat me and his younger brother joined him,accusing me of forcing his brother to return back to the city so I could kill him.

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My husband and his brother called me all sorts of names. I was so sad cos I knew this was going to happen. Remember I told you that I was having nightmares when my husband said we should come to the village.

The next day,after my husband went out,I quietly packed my things to go to my sister’s place in the village. I begged one of relatives to give us a ride. As we were trying to pack and go,my brother in-law’s wife saw us and called my husband.

My husband appeared almost immediately and began to beat me. His brother too joined. They called me all sorts of names:prostitute,etc. His brother broke a bottle and wanted to use it on me,I had to run for my dear life.

Neighbors and onlookers came and separated us. I refused to enter the house again,so I stayed with a neighbor and passed the night there. My son was with me but they took my daughter.  I wanted to leave the next day to the city but my neighbors were fearful that my husband would blame them for helping me escape.

I called my mother to come but she refused.( My mother and I have no relationship,she does not like me). The next day,a meeting was called and the eldest man in the family blamed me for disobeying my husband. He asked me to apologize to him and his brothers which I did.

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I had a very horrible experience. I feel betrayed by my husband and everyone. We are back in the city but I am feeling so depressed and I do not know what to do. I do not know how long I can continue like this.

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Please advice me…

 

Anonymous LS Whatsapp member

 

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Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

2 COMMENTS

  1. Hello dear,

    First, I want to say,so sorry about what you have gone through at the village. I cannot imagine the trauma that you went through. But thank God that you are safe and back to the city.

    I am actually very concerned about the beating. Domestic violence is not to be condoned. I think you need to take drastic measures to ensure that does not happen again. Maybe you can go make a statement at the police station.

    But going forward,you need to expedite your plans . You need to become financially independent. It might get to the point where you need to go away for a while to protect yourself. The marriage is turning toxic and violent,you need to look out for yourself.

    Please take your time and visit the ministry of women affairs and seek for help from them. They could provide more advice,protection and perhaps temporary shelter if the beating continues.

    Stop feeling sad…cheer up…there is no point to beating yourself up when the person you are sad about does not care. Be strong and look up….see a brighter future….

    Avoid all kinds of argument and conflict with your husband…do not answer him when it is getting to that…stay clear of his way….be more guarded with your words with him.

    Your goal is to remain alive….so,be wise and steer clear of fighting with your husband and his family…raise money for yourself and look toward a future for yourself.

    God is with you….all will be well. Just hold on and do not give up!

    God bless and protect you.

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