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My Husband’s S*xual Fantasies Are Very Disturbing To Me

Hello Admin,

I am Trish. I recently got married,in last November to be precise. I got married to the love of my life,Michael. Me and Michael dated for a year after we met at a friend’s party in 2017. He is so gorgeous,I was blown away when he asked me out. He has been my friend and greatest support since we have been together and I would do anything for him.

Being married has been awesome too. I have never been so happy in my life. I want to ensure that we have a well grounded married life. The sx is good. I intend to keep it that was cos I have been reading so many articles on marriage and sx in marriage. I know its a big deal and I want us to have the best so none of us would ever have course to look at any other person outside our marriage.

During our honeymoon and first month in marriage,we talked about alot of things and our s*xual fantasies. In fact,I encouraged him to talk about his fantasies. I promised him that I was going to be fine no matter what they are. I told him mine. After all they are just fantasies right? My fantasies will be to make love on the beach and we did that actually.

Mike said his fantasy was to have a threesome with me and someone. I laughed. I thought that was cute. I thought that would mean with a total stranger and I told him I could consider it sometime in the near future. He was surprised that I would agree to that. Well,I really do not like the idea but I am a very secure person or so I thought. So,as long as it was with a stranger,I am game.

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However,Mike said his fantasy was not with a stranger but someone close to us. I found that disturbing. I then asked him who around us would he suggest. He said and I quote: my best friend Jasmine. Jasmine?…my own best friend Jasmine whom I have been friends with since high school? There is no way this is cool.

The fact that my husband is fantasizing about a threesome with my bets friend is truly troubling. I told him its never happening. We kinda laughed over it but since that time,I have been seriously shaken by this information. I have consciously stayed away from Jas since we returned from our honeymoon. Jas has been wanting to come see us or hangout with us but I have found excuses to keep her away.

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Jas and I are best friends. I miss her and she is wondering why we are not as close anymore. Do you think that I am over reacting or should I ensure that Jasmine and I are no longer close so that Mike would never have any reason to want to fantasize about her anymore?…or do you think I am just being paranoid?…its just a fantasy…to be honest,Mike is not that type of guy…

I am eager to hear views from other people. I would prefer not to be judged for my choices,it took a great deal to talk about this cos I have so scared…

From Trish,

London ,UK


Photo Credit:Glamour

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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello Trish,

    Thank you for your email. Well,most people have s*xual fantasies but when you give voice to this fantasies,then you cannot tell where it would lead.

    I get it that fantasies are to enhance or spice up your s*x life but they could go very wrong especially when those fantasies involve other people apart from you and your husband.

    You are not entirely wrong for keeping away from your best friend…you never can tell if her being close could actually lead to this fantasy ever becoming a reality one day.

    You should have a conversation with your husband…a heart to heart conversation. Let him know you concerns and both of you should come up with safer fantasies that does not include outsiders to your marriage.

    Pray about your situation. Things will work out bur always be careful what you wish for.

    Stay blessed.


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