Thursday, November 21, 2019
Home Advice My Husband,His Family & My Neighbors Are Tormenting Me!

My Husband,His Family & My Neighbors Are Tormenting Me!

Good Evening ma,

Please help me. I am in trouble. I am an ardent reader of Lively stones on Facebook. My name is Maureen.(Not real name).I have been through so many problems in my life,I do not know where to start from.

I do not have a good relationship with my mother and my father is late. About 12 years ago,I got married to my husband who is 13 years older than me. Right from the day I stepped into his house,his family never liked me. Initially, his brothers and sisters were living with him and they were very controlling and my husband used to listen to them more than me. I endured years of insults and harassment from them even when I was pregnant.

If I ever reported my mother in-law to my husband,he would report me to his siblings and they would gang up and almost want to beat me up. Even a neighbor whom I thought I could be friends with,teamed up with them and was always mean to me.Gradually,my husband would begin to beat me up at the slightest provocation. My kids would be crying.

I managed to convince my husband to allow me go back to school as I always wanted to go to the higher institution. I just wanted to find an excuse to leave the house. Right now,with my schooling and managing three children and a very uncooperative husband,I am at my wits end. I have to travel long distance every day to get to school. I do not have a house help and  I am constantly unhappy and I do not know what to do.

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My marriage lacks any shape or form of love. My husband does not take any of my suggestions either. I am tired. I want a better life. I deserve a better life. I have been unhappy for far too long and I can no longer continue like this.

I wish there was a place I could go to. Somewhere I can start a fresh life. I need a fresh start. I can no longer live with this man and suffer the way I have been suffering. I fear that if I continue,I would never be happy in me life and I may not live long either.

Please advice me. I need your help. Per adventure any one can understand how I feel. I need an opportunity to be happy. I will be reading earnestly to get any advice or support I can get.

Thank you.

Mrs Maureen

Ibadan

Photo Credit:Another World

 

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Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

2 COMMENTS

  1. If you want to leave your husband, you need to be financially capable of taking care of yourself and your children before you can leave. So you need to get something doing that will fetch you money.
    You can a little business, if you are diligent, it will grow.
    And stop expecting your husband to make you happy because no human is responsible for the happiness of another. Make yourself happy the best possible way you can and try to ignore whatever your husband does or doesn’t do.
    Grow your business, when you are financially capable and you still want to leave, then you can.

  2. Hello Mrs Maureen,

    As discussed,please take some time to pray and ask God for direction before you take any decision. I know its not easy for you but God is not sleeping,He sees your struggle and He alone can give you peace and a bright new future.

    I also think you should start talking to an elderly mentor,someone to guide you in these matters. I think you should ignore the family members and siblings that are making life difficult for you. Focus on your husband and children. Try to avoid lashing at your husband or any confrontation with him.Change your attitude to him.

    If you feel he is a threat to your life,there are agencies that can assist you with temporary shelter so you can leave and find something to do for yourself. Please make time and visit those agencies and make a formal complain of abuse.

    The only challenge is that since you are not working,you may not be allowed to go with your children. You need to find a job or start a small business fast. Do not completely depend on your husband. Start thinking of your future. You are able bodied,think of something that you can do that will bring you profit.

    Stop feeling sad and start thinking of how to have a happier and brighter future. Your husband is not your God…its time to start thinking madam…and come up with a solid plan to become independent.

    Just pray for your husband,no more confrontation with him. No more expectation from him too. You can be anything you want with determination and conviction.

    Do not run away without a plan. It will be from frying pan to fire.

    God bless you.

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