My Husband Wont Talk But I Find It Hard To Believe Nothing Happened!

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Good Morning Jzhane,

Please I need your help and advice my sister. I don’t know where I went wrong but my husband is not talking to me. And this has been almost four days now. My husband is a fun loving husband and father just like me. In our five years of marriage,there has never a day we went without speaking with each other no matter the level of disagreement.

What happened is that about two weeks ago,we were both in bed around 9.30pm or so. I was reading a book and he was on his phone. Immediately I heard him say: Sh*t…damn!…I turned and asked him what was the matter. He said nothing. Just that he saw some ugly picture online. I asked to see the picture and he said its graphic and he knows I hate to see graphic pictures. So I told him I will pass in that case. He then asked me for my phone. I asked him for what,he said he needs to get someone’s no. I gave it to him and he took it,pretended to be taking a number and passed it back to me. Later on,a few minutes before I fell asleep,I went through my phone like I normally do for any last minute notification for the day. It was then I saw the picture!

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It was a nude picture of my neighbor’s wife and it was saved in my picture drive. The picture had a description:”come and get it baby”. Immediately I screamed in shock. I was like what is this? How did this get into my phone? Then my husband looked at me and said,I thought I deleted this,oh crap. I mean,what da….?!!********. I asked my husband how the hell the picture got to me and he said our neighbor accidentally forwarded it to him. As he was trying to delete it,he also mistakenly sent it to me in error. He thought he had deleted it when he took my phone earlier on. What he didn’t know is that all pictures and videos that come to my phone save in more than one place. This one saved in my phone drive. The next question I had was: what kind of accidental action is this,how and when did my husband start having her no. And they now talk on whats app?

My husband said he has her no cos she called him once to come and move his car one day. Since then,her no has been on his phone cos  he saved it for any emergency situation like if he needs to move the car. I was not satisfied with his explanation. I was angry and we actually argued about this until we both slept off. The next day,I couldn’t hold my anger,I went to meet this lady and warned her never to try the rubbish she did by sending her nude picture to my husband. I threatened to report her to her husband if she tried it again. Strangely,she laughed and said,really,so he told you it was an accident?…ok o…hahaha.

My sister,I  abused her again and again. I called her husband snatcher and all kinds of imprint able names. Well,apparently,she told my husband cos when he got back he was in a serious rage. We had the biggest fight of our entire marriage. He accused me of not trusting him. He said the lady was just messing with me by laughing. I told him if he is saying the truth,then both of us should confront her together. I even suggested we involve her husband. This really angered my husband and since that day,he has not spoken to me directly. I greet him,he refuses to answer.He does not even eat the food I make for him.

Please tell me,what have I done? Where did I go wrong? Is it not obvious that between my husband and this woman,somebody is lying? Instead of my husband to open up and tell me the truth,which I am prepared to forgive if he made a mistake,he is busy keeping malice with me. I feel strongly to approach this woman’s husband but I fear this might aggravate the issue. So please help me ask your readers,what should I do? Am I the one to beg my husband for forgiveness when he is the one that caused all this problems? If he was not hiding anything,why did he delete the picture the first time without telling me? Cos to me,that would have been a sign of his sincerity. I would have actually believed him then that the picture was sent in error.

Please advice me. I dont like this continued silent treatment from my husband but I am also very angry about the whole situation. There is a possibility that something is going on between my husband and this woman. How do I address that? And how do I make things go back to the way they were before all this trouble began?

Use another name when posting this please. God bless you my sister.

 

Odion

Lekki,Lagos

 

 

Photo Credits:The Guardian

 

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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

2 COMMENTS

  1. Hello Odion,

    This situation is a very delicate one. I advice you to thread with caution. What I dont want you to allow is this whole situation getting worse and affecting your marriage and peace of mind.

    Clearly,that neighbor was out of line for sending that picture whether directly or indirectly. But you shouldn’t have addressed or insulted her. You talk to your husband to rebuke her if it was really a mistake.

    Now,with all that has happened,my advice to you is,seek God’s guidance. Yes,pray about this. And then call your husband when he is a bit calm and talk to him. Try and sort out this matter with him. Let him know he put you in a position to doubt him when he didn’t open up the first time about the picture. By deleting it without telling you also makes it hard for you to believe him.

    But let him know you are willing to put this behind you if he promises to be more honest next time. The lady may be interested in your hubby or your hubby interested in her..which way my dear,commit your husband to prayers…work on better communication with your husband.

    My sister,pray and watch..watch and also pray,in all,let God guide you.

  2. I can relate well with what Jzhane has given as a way out. If Odion can take to it so well, your husband and marriage with be restored.

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