I need your advice and that of the house. I have been married for over 13 years . Unfortunately,I have not enjoyed my marriage. I married someone who I thought would be able to take care of me and love me. But since we been married,its been one problem or the other.
I have tried all kinds of intervention,none worked.Our families have tried to intervene,our church sef. Now,every body have left us to our fate. I have forgotten about trying to make my marriage work. I will say I am just in a relationship,not marriage. Just answering wife but nothing is going on here.
The last time my husband made love to me was in 2016. That was after lovemaking was like once in 6 months. The main issue is that my husband is hot tempered. Uneducated and hot tempered. He does not listen to any body’s opinion on anything. He feels he knows everything.
And me,I am not that type of woman who will just keep quiet when something is wrong. To him,that means I am proud. Well,I tried to be submissive like they say but all it brought me was more pain. My husband never talks to me about anything. His plans or business or anything at all. He just provides monthly allowance and that is all.
Of course,he cheats on me. With everything in skirt. From the little girls in my neighborhood to olosho ladies. A man with money never lacks women. Initially,we will quarrel and fight over his behavior but he would say I should mind my business because its his life and as a man,he can do anything.
I stopped sleeping with him so that I will not catch disease. Eventually,I left him to his foolishness to try and get happiness for myself. I miss s*x but I hold myself cos I am not yet ready to leave this marriage. I want my two children to enter university before I do that. I am 31 years old,my children are in secondary school. In a few years,they will finish and I will leave this prison called marriage.
So that is how we have been living o. Until this year. My husband just came to me and said he wants another child. He said he wants a male child. I already have one girl and one boy. He says he needs a second son. Me,I told him I am not having any babies as this marriage is not conducive to have another baby.
What my 2 children have been through is bad enough. Bringing a 3rd child,I cannot do that.He now said that if I do not give him another child,he will divorce me and marry a new wife. Well,I am not afraid of divorce,after all,what am I even enjoying in this marriage?Nothing!,…my only concern is that he says that he will make sure I do not see my children again if we divorce.
I love my children to death. I will do anything for them. I know this man can do and undo. He has money and can buy justice even if I take him to court. So I am confused as to what to do. My children need me now. Should I have another child just to stay close to my children? Would that not be tying me down further in this marriage? What if I get pregnant and its not a boy?
My family thinks he is trying to make peace with me by asking for another child. That the child will bring us closer together again. But I am confused. I cannot forget the pain this man has caused me in a hurry. I know he does not respect me. He wants me for just s*x which I am sure he is not getting good quality outside.
What can I do? What will be the best option for me. Will another child truly bring peace?Please house,guide me.
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