Thursday, November 21, 2019
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My Husband Wants Me Back But There Is An Elephant In The Room

Dear Jzhane,

Sometime last year I called and disclosed about an issue I had in my marriage,it’s a long story but I told you I had a child, after which I got married,but things changed after a while, my husband changed entirely he got tired of the marriage,told me he was tired and wanted to leave even not that we had our trad,always withdrawn from me.

I was tormented emotionally,not until I found out that he was having an affair with a girl,that he confirmed was his EX,and I have been seeing her pix on his older phone unknowingly to me that she is having QN affair with him.

So last year he told his people that he doesn’t want the marriage again,long story short he turned his back on me,then during this fracas I took a walk,I parked my things and left,I left march this year,he sent series of text to me that I should never border coming back.

During this period his family supported him that he should forget me since I had the mind to leave,but he didn’t tell them that sent me out,I didn’t call him neither did I reply any of his text.

Then this month, last week precisely his friend called me and started pleading on his behalf,the next day he came to my office.  We eventually met at a place and he started apologizing that I should come back.

I took sometime and I forgave him,but before that during this fracas I had a terrible dream with this ex threatening me,to pack out of the house,eventually I packed out.

Now I have forgiven my husband,he told me that he doesn’t have anything to do with his EX again, but I just discovered that these two people are still taking till date. If I ask him like I did the initial time before he sent me packing,he might still deny it…

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I would need your candid advice on this.

LS Member


Photo Credit:CatholicMath


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello dear,

    My question is: have you confronted him with your observation that he is still talking to that lady?

    Ask him in a subtle manner. You have been through this drama and heartbreak before… you want to pretend she is not there or she is not the cause of the drama?

    Ask him and if he says nothing is going on…lovingly tell him you will not feel comfortable knowing that she is still in the picture.

    Have to have a deep…heart to heart with him. Let him know how you feel.

    Let him know that your only condition to return is if and only if he stops all communication with this ex.

    You may not have fully healed from the pain of the last heart break….if you go back without resolving this…it will be worse. No healing will take place when the cause of the pain is still there.

    Be very firm on your stance.

    I would really like you to go back and build your marriage but you both need to resolve the issues first.

    God bless you.


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