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My Husband & His Sister Are Threatening Me,Please Help!

Dear Jzhane,

My name is Pricilia(not real name). I am a mother of three children and I am currently pregnant with my fourth child. I am very unhappy in my marriage at this time and I need your help and advice.

Ever since I got married to my husband,I have been noticing several behaviors that I dont like. We have been married for five years now. I met my husband as a virgin. We are not doing very well financially because my husband is a Driver and the pay is very poor. He was also doing his part time degree course. So all the money I made from my petty trading went into providing for the family and assisting my husband with his schooling. I did not plan to have a fourth child but I guess mistakes happen. I almost aborted this pregnancy when I found out. This is because,we can hardly even feed ourselves at the moment not to talk of having another extra mouth to feed.

With all these challenges,my pain is that my husband is always flirting with women. Women from his part time schooling and some of his passengers as a Taxi Driver. Many times I see text messages that his female friends send to him. When I confront him,he just starts shouting at me. One time,I reported him to my pastor in church and when we got home,he beat me up for reporting him. I am tired and I do not know what to do. His behavior is constantly giving me high BP. We dont have enough money yet he keeps on flirting with other women. I wonder what these women see in him.

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The latest trouble now is that my husband’s younger sister came to stay with us in our one room apartment as she is doing her IT in Lagos. This girl never ceases to taunt me. Instead of her to help me talk to her brother,she says that if I complain again that the family will send me back to my parents in the village. One day,this girl locked me out of our house. She said I am the reason that the brother is not prospering. Ma,I slept outside on the corridor with my seven months pregnancy. I don’t know what I have done to warrant such a treatment from my husband and his sister. I work very hard to provide for him and our family without him supporting me,yet he continues to cheat and me and they have threatened to send me packing from my marriage as soon as I give birth to my fourth child.

Please ma,what should I do? I am afraid to tell anyone for fear that he will beat me up again. I need your prayers and the help of people in this group. God bless you ma.

Pricilia,

Abule Egba,Lagos

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Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

4 COMMENTS

  1. Hello Pricilia,

    First,I sympathize with you on your situation. However, I think you need a new strategy with this problem.

    Stop confronting your husband. Stop Complaining. Just leave him alone and focus on your self an your children. It would appear that the confrontations and complaining are causing him to beat you and threaten you too. Its tough not to react but you have to.

    Also stop assisting him financially. Start saving money for your self,your children and your future.

    Also my dear,take your matter to God in prayers. spend time to pray for your husband. After you deliver,fast if you can too. Dont loose focus,keep your ficus on God. Get involved in a prayer group too.

    Finally,if he beats you again,please get in touch with us,we will link you up with the Lagos State ministry of women affairs and their agency that deals with domestic violence against women,they will make sure he does not lay another finger against you.

    Be strong ma..it is well with you

  2. Dear Priscillia, i believe Jzhane has said it all. follow her advice and see how things turn out. you really need to apply wisdom at this time.

  3. Say what!!! Ur sister inlaw locked u outside your own house? Really sad my dear. My advise for you is to immediately go & do family planning after giving birth. Stop giving d never do well husband any money, spend your money on yourself & your children. Save for your children’s future & ignore ur husband totally. Locate DPA on Facebook, register with them, they will take care of your husband anytime he lays his hands on you again. And lastly, you must take your own destiny in your hands. Be bold & stand tight. You must stop the fear, do not allow anyone intimidate you. You are Gods child & he made you in his image. No one has the right to relegate you. Cheers!

  4. Hi Priscillia,

    This is a painful experience.
    Life can throw so may things at us but we must be strong, strong for ourselves and children.

    This may not be applicable in your case but sometimes when a woman is the bread winner at home, the frustration of working extra hard to keep the family together plus maintaining the home could put a lot of pressure on her to the point that she looses a bit of respect for the man, speaks/ acts sometimes in a condescending manner towards him.

    Some men cannot take that and start looking at other women who see the king in Him.
    But a husband and Sister in law should not do the things you described above.

    Keep strong and have your baby, your husbands sister will marry someday and enjoy the seeds she planted.

    Be prayerful, ask God if you erred in anyway to forgive and pray for your marriage, God is on your side, you are the wife, the heart of your husband is in His hands but take care of your self and allow him work hard, you are the one to be pampered now.

    He answers prayers.

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