Sunday, July 5, 2020
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My Girl Is A Little Too Wild-Will She Make A Good Wife?

Good Morning ma,

Please post and keep anonymous. I been dating this girl for like a year. I love her,she is smart and very funny and I really like her. But ma,there are some things about her that I need counsel about.

My girl spent alot of time abroad so she is quiet exposed. She speaks her mind and I like that about her but sometimes,I worry that she is too forward. I am a cool guy but I don’t like disrespected.

Like normal couples,we have arguments but then she argues without respect. I do not believe argument should be without respect. Like for example,she can be angry and raising her voice or pointing her fingers in my face.

That to me is unacceptable. She curses alot too. Using words like fuck fuck fuck…I know its normal abroad but here,in Naija..when a lady uses that alot,she is seen as not properly raised. To be fair to her,when I try to correct her,she tries to change but sometimes,she says I am trying to control her which I am not.

Another thing ma,she wears beads on her waist and she has a tattoo of an owl on her back. To her,tattoos mean nothing and I understand that its permanent so there is nothing she can do to remove the tattoo.

My concern is that,she actually behaves like someone possessed sometimes. Especially when she is angry. I asked her why she wears waist band,she says its what she likes but I don’t like it. She says I am being a baby and bush.

My family have met her and they noticed she is a bit wild and loud. My father actually asked me if I can cope with her. I said yes but at the back of my mind,am wondering if I can actually.

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My mother is a reserved woman,when she saw the tattoo on her back,she was really worried and told me that I should be careful.  Why an owl for a tattoo…of all things…an mother is thinking she maybe connected to something spiritual…I don’t know sha

We talk about her behaviors severally and she explains that its her upbringing but she is willing to change but then,I am not seeing much change cos when I ask her sometimes,she accuses me of trying to control her when I bring up an issue she said she would work on. I don’t know whether we should just break up…but I love her so much.

Please advise me…

Anonymous LS Whatsapp member


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello,

    Your girl is a little too wild…will she make a good wife?…hmmmm…I do not really know…

    All I want to ask you is: does she make you happy? Do you see a future with her?

    I mean,wanting a woman who is humble and reserved is good but not all ladies are reserved. You explained that she is a good person right…her personality and how she treats you should be key.

    You said she raises her voice…points fingers and curses a lot…well,do you see a reasonable effort to change those behaviors…it might take a while…you might need to exhibit a little more patience.

    As for her tattoo and waist beads….well,you cant change permanent tattoos…what you can do ,is get another tattoo to cover it up…you can suggest that to her if it bothers you so much. She may or may not agree …if she agrees good…if she does not…let it go…its just a tattoo…

    Waist beads are fashion items. I know some think it has spiritual connotations….perhaps it does but if your girl says its nothing…let her be.

    The more important question is: does your girl share the same spiritual beliefs as you…have a conversation about this…if there are conflicts in spiritual beliefs..then you may have a red flag. You cannot marry someone who believes in something else when it comes to spiritual values…that would be problematic.

    To her, all these may not be a big of a deal..pray about it….let God guide you.

    Also,give it time…see how she changes or adapts.

    And you too..try not to be controlling…most times,when a lady says a man is trying to be controlling…the man may actually be controlling…watch your reactions and behavior too.

    And on the long run…if nothing changes…maybe you need to step back and move on.

    Wish you all the best!

  2. My guy,

    This is quite simple. As much as you may not like to hear this, you two do not really seem compatible. You have already mentioned how you communicate is not in line with your expectations. Her outlook and background seem different to yours and that of your family. And lastly, you have advised her to change to be more in line with what you would ideally like. In short, this girl is fun, exciting and holds your interest. However, unless she changes significantly, she won’t really be what you want. Is it fair to ask someone to change so much from who they fundamentally are? How will this impact her self esteem?

    Ones upbringing and background defines a whole lot of things – how you raise children, how you manage finances, how you hash out differences. From what you have shared, your differences may cause you issues in future and what seems fun and exciting now, may end up as serious frustrations later.

    Think long and hard about if you want to go ahead. Ask God for guidance and be ready to hear what your Heavenly Father has to say.

    Wish8ng you the very best.

    Mrs Sho


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