My Friend Is Stuck With A Man Who Is Deceiving Her,Please Help!

I could hear Dany's voice in the background


Dear Mrs Jzhane,

This one is about my friend o. Please help me advice her cos I have been talking to her but she has refused to listen. I don’t know if she is under a spell or she is just so desperate.

Ajoke met Dany in 2012. At that time,he was separating from his wife when they met. Dany has a four year old son from his wife. He and my friend Ajoke started dating. A year later,Dany proposed to Ajoke. Everyone was very happy. Ajoke was 37 years at that time,yes a late bloomer. But the issue was that,even with the engagement,Dany had not yet finalized his divorce with his wife.


I mean,they have done introduction and Ajoke wears an engagement ring but the divorce is not finalized. The reason,very flimsy: Dany says he does not want the divorce to affect his son!Can you imagine that? So he and Ajoke were like that until Ajoke even moved into his house cos her parents refused for the wedding to take place cos the man had not yet divorced his wife. On top of that,this man was cheating on Ajoke with several girls. She didn’t believe it until she read his text messages. That was after three years of living with this man as a fiancee not a wife o.

This made her break up with him and she took up a job in Port Harcourt so she can forget Dany. She tried to until 2017,she connected with him again and they started dating again. Everyone is furious with Ajoke. We have told her severally to leave this man but she says she loves him. Two months ago,I got a call from Dany’s phone. I picked up and didn’t hear anything from the other side but I kept listening. I finally realized that Dany’s son must have dialed me unknowingly.

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But what I heard was the little boy actually talking to his mom who was obviously in Dany’s house. They were laughing and playing and I could hear Dany’s voice in the background. It took a while for them to realize the call was on. Dany’s wife then came to the phone and asked who is this. I answered and said,its Ajoke’s friend and Ajoke is engaged to Dany. She insulted me and Ajoke. Called us all kinds of names,husband snatcher,desperate home wreckers,etc…. and cut the call.

Immediately,I called Ajoke and told her. She called Dany and of course Dany denied all. Danny told her that his ”ex” wife just came to visit their son nothing more. And my silly friend believed. According to my friend,she wants to come to Lagos to come and confront the woman,face to face. Woman to woman to ask what she is doing in Dany’s house that day and also demand that the woman divorce Dany once and for all. Ajoke believes Dany loves her but he is just afraid to commit to her fully cos his first marriage didn’t work. See lies this man is feeding my friend?

I told Ajoke that was a stupid idea cos in the eyes of the law,that woman is still Dany’s wife. And I can bet you,Dany is still smashing her. I don’t know why my friend doesn’t believe me or anyone else.  Ajoke has said that I don’t understand what loneliness is cos I am married. That she loves this man and will do anything for him.

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Has she been bewitched or shamelessly in love with this man? How can we help her? Please,I need you advice and prayers for my friend.



Photo Credits:Beyondblackandwhite

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  1. Hello Augusta,

    Thank you for your email.

    Your friend is not under a spell. I think she is just refused to let go of someone who isn’t hers to keep.

    And frankly speaking,if she wont listen to anyone who has advised her to leave him,she should be getting ready to be really hurt.

    This man has no intention of divorcing his wife if he hasn’t done so since 2012. And yes,he is still sleeping with the wife…I just feel bad for both women…why do women stick with men who treat them like trash?

    Here is a man sleeping with his separated wife while cheating with his ”fiancee” and both women know and still stick with him..what a society!

    All anyone can do is advice and pray for your friend….hope its not too late before she realizes her mistakes.

    God bless

  2. Water don pass garri matter, she better wake up from this endless sleep before its too late. There many good and honest single men out there.Anyway, when you don’t know God, that always the case. Wish your friend all the best.

  3. Let us leave Ajoke alone. Wish them well and pray for Ajoke & Dany.
    I can read between the lines. Danny’s wife is only back to claim a Marriage she could not make work and she will still leave for the same reason that made her do it before. I just can’t stand women who refuse to build a home but become spoilers cos of a new person in view.
    Dany may not be deceiving Ajoke.
    I have a very strong reason to believe Ajoke may win this battle cos only the TRUTH can set one free.
    Goodluck dears.


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