My Fiancee & I Do Not See Eye To Eye Anymore: Please Help!


Hello Jzhane,

Yesterday’s story prompted me to share my story. (Read yesterday’s story here). This story  shared on the group is quite similar to mine and has really been eating me up. I need advise from others. I am in a relationship with a lovely lady. We have known each other for a long time but we became an item about a year and a half ago.

When we started dating,I made it clear that the relationship was geared towards marriage. I did not want to date for too long before getting married. But a few months down the line,I resigned from my job and had to resort to operating Taxify. I am also running a part time program in teh University. This affected my financial situation but I still did my best to assist my fiancee anytime the need arises.


However,I noticed that we started to argue more and more after the financial situation changed. What bothered me was that she made it seem like she was tolerating me in the relationship. If we had a misunderstanding,she could stay for days without calling or apologizing until I call to apologize. And she knows I will call because I love her so much. This made me feel a certain way.

A months later,my fiancee resigned from her job as well. She did not even tell me before resigning. in actual fact,her job was not a good paying job but at least it paid her some change….that she did not even inform me before doing that…threw me aback. Since she resigned her job,she was asked to quit the apartment she was sharing with a friend,instead of her to return to her sister’s house where she used to stay,she moved in with a male friend of hers who is helping her develop her music career. (She is a singer too).

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The fact that she refused to come back to her sister’s house was another surprise to me. That she moved in with a male friend just because the guy has a studio in his house also surprised me. I made her realize I did not like the idea but she did not listen. Later on,she moved into another room in the guy’s flat but the landlord asked her to pay up the rent for that room which she did not have. She asked me for the money (150k) and I told her I did not have it.

She became angry and refused to speak to me for days. I explained to her that it was wiser to come back to her brother’s house where she would not need to pay rent but she refused. Later on,the landlord allowed her to stay if she would agree to be his girlfriend. She asked me what to do and I told her my mind:which is,come back to your brother’s house. yet,she remained there.

My fiancee explained that she convinced the landlord to let her stay there by telling him she was recently bereaved of her father,hence the landlord allowed her to stay without demanding that she be his girlfriend.Whilst I do not know for certain how but  I do know that,its only a matter of time before the landlord comes back to make his request again.

Recently,one of her friends told her that of their family house that she can move in close to the studio. But the house being old would need some renovation. Again,my fiance asked me for the money for the renovation and I told her I do not have it. Sincerely,I do not have it. Like I explained,I am not making much from running a Taxify plus I am supporting my self in my part time schooling.

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Do you know that because of that,she refused to call me for days? When I called her,she said she did not have any credit on her. I feel she does not care anymore about me. She could have at least flashed me if she wanted to speak to me. Ma,I love this lady. But it looks like she is tired or tolerating our relationship. I also feel she does not care about me as she used to ….she even compared me to her ex which I told her I do not appreciate.

At the moment,I need advise on what to do….before all these financial issues,everything was fine…do you think she will change and be better when things become better for us financially? I need advise…


From anonymous LS Whatsapp Member


Photo Credit:Citinewsroom

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  1. Hello,

    One thing is clear,the money issue is the major issue in your relationship. Your relationship has not been able to stand the money test.

    That is why we say,get married is easy..staying married is not…money problems among other problems can actually change people. If only there was steady income from at least one of you,it would have been bearable.

    She does not have a job and you are not able to provide for her…she is struggling to get her music career off the ground…I can understand the pressure.

    My advice: both of you need to be reminded of why you came together in the first place. You are letting your challenges get in the way of your vision.

    Both of you can come together and ride this financial storm together or it will break you apart…the choice is yours!

    The lack of money is making her make bad decisions and its preventing you from being a dependable fiance….

    You should get her to sit down and talk to a mentor that can help both of you get back on track. The earlier you do it,the better…if not,very soon,the pressure will soon crack

    That landlord or male friend who seem to be willing to help her will soon make her yield to their demands.

    Call your girl…have a serious heart to heart with her…or both of you see a mentor that can talk to both of you and help you get things back on track.

    All the best.


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