Friday, July 3, 2020
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My Fiance Said I Am Inconsiderate But Is This Not For Our Good?Pt 2

Editor’s Note:

This is a follow up from a previous story.Please click here if you missed the initial story.

Good morning Ma

I was the lady that reached out to you about accommodation issues with fiance last week. Thank you so much for the advise. However, there is another issue now based on accommodation
I did my findings and the feedback I got is that we can get a two bedroom at Alapere (total package) for 700k.I suggested to him that we should get a two bedroom flat at Alapere which is still affordable n that I have 350..k with me.
So he should try and raise 350k as well. We can stay there for 9-12months and move to a location of our choice. He told me he can never live in Alapere and that why would I ever suggest that we live there. He also said that when I decided to leave the island, why did I move to gbagada and not Alapere and that I should never suggest that to him ever again
I’ve lived on d island all my life and  moved to gbagada 5 months ago because my office is now on the mainland . I always tell him that the only place I can live on the mainland is gbagada but when he told me his place of choice is Maryland or Anthony, I had to agree.
I believe I have compromised enough. He is not the only one going to live in Alapere. We are going there together . I think its selfish for him at this point to say he cant live where he is.
His rent at his small mini flat is due in April or may.  Instead of renewing the rent, let us put funds together and get a better place that is still affordable, he isnt seeing things from my point of view
At this point in fed up and he is pushing me to the wall. I’m not happy at all.Is my suggestion not good enough or am I still being inconsiderate
Regards
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Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

1 COMMENT

  1. Hello dear,

    How are you. So,I thought we agreed that you should chill with him in his small place until after marriage,then you both can work on moving to your dream apartment?

    It seems you still want to try and get your own desires in as well…and your boo too is sticking to his guns…both of you seem quite stubborn!

    Hmm….ok,lets see. Do you think I can speak to your boo? I want to try and understand where he is coming from.

    At the end of the day,someone has to compromise for both of you to move forward.

    In the meantime, please clam down. Let me talk to him….if not possible,then I would advise you to pipe low.

    Do no insist on your own idea or suggestion. He seems bent on having his way…or he may just not want to be seen as weak by agreeing to your own way.

    Which ever is the reason,wisdom is profitable to direct. You can still get what you want, but you may need a different approach. You need to speak more subtly and pray more.

    Have dialogue with him instead of arguments. Speak to him when his defenses are down…maybe when both of you are relaxing and having fun….the mood determines the response.

    Be tactful…watch his mood…pray about it and if you have to be the one to compromise…its not a big deal…its not a life or death situation.

    You will be fine in the end…just have alot of patience and emotional intelligence.

    You will be fine.

    Cheers!

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