My Ex Wants To Spend Her Summer With My Family….


Hello Jzhane,

Adrienne and I dated like briefly when I was in Uni like seventeen years ago. For like 4-6 months. More like a fling when we were in 300 level. Today,I am married with kids and she too is married with Kids.We remained friends over the years and nothing more. We just say hi to each other once in a blue moon on Facebook.

Out of the blues,I received an email from her last week saying that she and her family are coming to the US for summer holiday and she asked if she and her family can put up with my family during her holiday. I asked her if her husband knew we dated in the past,she said no and found no reason to tell him. She told him I was a distant relative and the husband does not mind.


I asked her why didnt she find another person,she said the friend they wanted to ask just moved to Paris two months ago…..

While I know that its been almost two decades we dated,I don’t feel comfortable¬† with Adrienne coming to spend holiday with me…she was my ex girlfriend for Christ sake…I don’t know what my wife would think if she ever found out..Adrienne says there is no need to tell either spouses…that we only dated just for like five months and its over 17 years.

Please what do you think,am I being overly paranoid or do you think its a bad idea?

Its been 17 years…do you think this shouldn’t be and issue?

Mr H



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  1. Hello Mr H,

    This is simple…discuss this with your wife…if you really think there is nothing more to this…be open with your wife…tell her that your ex from 17 years wants to spend summer with you and her husband…

    See her reaction…but I wont be surprised if her reaction is NO!

    This is up to your wife to answer really….

    All the best…

  2. My take on this; please do not tell your wife that she is your ex. Getting visa is easy but getting someone to accommodate you abroad is a task most times. I’ll beg you to please allow her to come over with her family I.e. if you are very sure that it is safe. Meee

  3. It’s an old flame and it could be dangerous…. Ask ur wife first…. If she is ok by it, then allow, if not, let her find someone else. Don’t use ur hand to destroy ur family…. God bless u.


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