Wednesday, July 8, 2020
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My Desperation Compromised My Relationship & I Am Confused

Hello Ma’am,

What I am about to reveal is the biggest mistake in my entire life. I  am a 24 year graduate of  a polytechnic in the south. I have been in a relationship with someone for six years. We met in ND 1 and ever since,we ave been together. My girlfriend is my world. We are going to get married after HND. She has done so much for me and I love her so much.

However,I was having problems in my academics. I have have been having carryover in a particular course and with the way it was going,It meant I would have an extra year in school. I tried everything,I read and read but I still failed that course. My friend advised me to settle the lecturer and that is how I went to see her. I pleaded with her and offered to do anything to help my situation.

This woman looked at me and said:anything,are you really sure? I sad yes!…she then gave me her phone number and asked me to call her by 6pm that day. I called her and she asked me to meet her at a certain hotel. I was suspicious but I was desperate. I went there to see her cut the long story short,she made me sleep with her that day. And she said,I had to do it with her seven times.

I wondered why seven times. My friend joked she needed it for spiritual purposes. I thought that was bullshit. Now,I did everything to hide this from my girlfriend. I felt so bad that I betrayed her but this was my life. I was thinking of my future. There was no way I was going to have an extra year. My father would disown me.

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So,my commitment to my lecturer who is in her 40s continued until I completed the 7th one. I passed her course. I got a C finally. All was well and I was going to graduate well. Like a week to our final exams,my lecturer called me to her office. When I got there,she told me she was pregnant for me. I stood there looking at her like why would this grown ass woman be pregnant for someone old enough to be her son.

I told her that was not my problem. She should get rid of it. She laughed and said no. That she had been married and divorced because she could not bear a child for her husband. A prophet had told her that only a younger man can make her pregnant. That I presented the opportunity when I told her I was ready to do anything to graduate. She said she was keeping the child.

She said did not want anything from me. But that the child will bear my name as the father as she cannot be seen as a bastard. I looked at her and told her she was crazy. I stormed out and I avoided her through out my exams. I could not wait to graduate and leave school finally. By that time,everyone in school knew our lecturer was pregnant and there were rumors that she got pregnant by a student.

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Exactly,eight months later,when I was trying to move on with my life. …this woman sends me a picture of a baby boy…my son. I am at loss for words. I am confused. I feel like I have to tell someone but I do not know who to tell. I am a father at 24. But I do not want anything to do with that child. My only fear is that I do not want this to come bite me in the future..

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My girlfriend and I will be getting married after NYSC….should I tell her or should I forget about this…the tendency that it may ruin my relationship is very high…my girlfriend may forgive the cheating but that I have a first son with another woman is the main issue.

Now,before anyone tells me to be honest with her and tell her,please note that for all I know,that child may not be mine. What if the woman was lying?…And she said she does not care if  I am in the child’s life or not….so,why ruin my happiness with that information if I am not going to be bothered by this woman and her child ever in my life?

I know that I may be sounding like a selfish bastard but I made a stupid mistake cos I wanted to graduate from school….who does not make mistakes? I was desperate. I did not plan to go down this route and end up being a father. Why didn’t she use protection after she insisted I cannot use a condom…the woman knew what she wanted and she got it…

As for me,this is not what I wanted…

From Anonymous LS Blog reader.


Photo Credit:Science Daily

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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello Young Man,

    One bad decision if not managed carefully could lead to several bad decisions. You are at that point of making several bad decisions.

    You were desperate,that was the first mistake…the only way to avoid going further down the rabbit hole is to stop and make amends. Yes,you have to tell your parents first and you must tell your girlfriend.

    After that,you can decide to carry out a DNA test on the child to prove you are the father. If you are,you can decide how you want your relationship with the child should be.

    I would say ,you might loose your girlfriend but a child is involved here…that child deserves a better life with a father in it…that child did not ask to be born…your indiscretions brought about this child.

    I pray you do the right thing.

    All the best.


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