Thursday, September 10, 2020
Home Advice My Boyfriend Is Not Vocal About Our Future:Should I Be Worried?

My Boyfriend Is Not Vocal About Our Future:Should I Be Worried?

Hello good evening ma,

A friend of mine referred me to you.I have a few concerns and I need your insight  My boyfriend talked about us getting married this year. He mentioned it a few times last year during our conversations and all.

Though he has not formally proposed to me with an engagement ring. I would like to know if it’s compulsory for him to do that. Plus we are yet to talk about the exact time this year that we would be getting married.

So my first question is how do I ask him without coming off as overly desperate cos I believe we should discuss, plan and even fix a date or something.

Then another thing is that he barely says the words ‘I love you’. He has been a wonderful man, supportive and I couldn’t ask for a better person but sometimes,  I just want him to say it to me.

I actually linked it to his upbringing. He was raised not hearing things like I love you. His father left his mother and things were a bit tough. I’ve also spoken to him about it on two occasions as well. Do you think I should be worried?

Thank you so much.

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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello dear,

    There is no fear in love. Just find the best way to communicate yoru thoughts and concerns with your guy.

    If you are both as tight as you say you are….then no need to want to mince words.

    Ask him playfully…ask him..when are we getting married…I know you have plans but I would like to be on the same page with I can plan towards it…maybe even begin to pray and save towards it.

    And then,say something like: babe…I know you are not the very vocal type but I would really appreciate if you can say I love you a little bit more …especially when I say it to you.

    Let him know that saying it is a form of reassurance and it shows that you are on his mind and that gives you confidence that you mean that much to him.

    So my dear….you have to be patient and you have to be willing to teach him to say the things you want him to say to you.

    If the opportunity arises,watch romantic movies with him. Attend seminars and similar programs that teach on such subject areas with him.

    Read up articles on how to express the love language of your partner an share such articles with him. You can also discuss such articles with him.

    By and large…understand the kind of man he is…he may not respond as much as you want but if you see genuine care in many other ways…that might just be enough for now….dont put pressure on him too much.

    Take it one day at a time as long as he is willing to learn.



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