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My Boss Gave Me The Best Valentine Gift:I Need To Make A Decision!

I couldnt wait to send my story. I need sound advise. I think I am ready to make a decision about my marriage. I need to do so with a clear mind and clear conscience.

My wife and I have been separated for two years now. She actually moved out of our home by herself and all I have been doing is begging her to come back but she wont listen. We got married in 2011. I was just a young man trying to settle down in life so things were not so easy.

We got married cos she actually got pregnant. Didn’t want to have a child out of wedlock. Our daughter came 7 months after our wedding. The most beautiful child. But clearly,my wife had a thing for her ex who is married. She tried to disguise that.

However,with us struggling financially,her ex began to send her money and she lied to me that he was just a friend. The day I found out he was her ex,I was mad with anger and accused her of cheating.

She blamed me for not supporting her financially. She said she rather take money from an ex than be poor with me. At that time,I got a better job and things became better and I expected her to stop talking to her ex or taking money from him.

Instead,I saw that she was living above our means. She had bought a Honda CRV. Said she saved money for it. She was living quite flashy and my instincts told me it was not over with her and her ex.

We had a big quarrel and she moved out of our apartment. She got a flat in Lekki. I tried everything to get her back but she keeps telling me she is not ready. That she wants to be sure I really want her and can take care of her needs before she returns.

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All these she is saying,is just to give her excuse to keep out of our home and continue taking money from whoever is sponsoring her and messing around. Things have changed financially for me but she clearly wants that high life which even though things have changed for me…I cannot maintain her very high expectations. I have asked her if she wants a divorce,she said no …so we are temporarily separated.

I see her sometimes just to check on my daughter. She does not seem in a hurry to get back to me. When I ask her,she will be like,soon or time will tell. I cant go on like this. Family members have spoken to her,she remains adamant.

Now the issue I have boss at work is a divorcee and she has been flirting with me. She is a very pretty woman and rich too. And young. Very attractive I must add. We have a good friendship relationship.She wants me but I have been putting her away cos I am still married.

Yesterday,valentine’s day. She called me to her office. Asked me to lock the door and boom,she flashed herself to me. Asking me to take her just for valentine’s day. Well,stuff happens right? I had the best time,the best valentine gift. I felt loved for the first time in a long time.

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But why I am sending you this to post is this.Should I feel guilty for doing this? My wife does not want me. Its been two years since she moved out. God knows I have been faithful and patient but clearly she wants someone else or something else..not me. So,I want to serve divorce papers.

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If I have to be with another person who wants me,I want to end things with my wife officially. I am beginning to have feelings for my boss. Am I wrong for wanting to take this decision? Please advise me.




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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello,

    Simple:as long as your wife has not agreed to a divorce, you should wait it out. She may be living apart from you but she did say she needs time,so give her time.

    However,if she continues this way for more than 5 years,then you can approve the courts to dissolve the marriage .

    To be married and live apart for years and have no form of relationship is not normal. But you have to pray and have patience. Remember your marriage vows…for better or for worse.

    I know you feel a need to experience love and intimacy, maybe you should try marriage counselling with your wife.

    In the meantime, you should do all you can to remain faithful. If she has not been caught cheating, you too have a duty to be faithful even if your marriage is facing challenges.

    Pray with her…when you see her …pray for her all the time and try to hash out what her issues are.

    If you give it a couple of more years and she is unwilling to make the marriage work, then you do the legal process required to set her free and set you free.

    I however hope that you two can work this out and be back together.

    God bless


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