Friday, December 13, 2019
Home Advice My Best Friend Accused Him Of Cheating:Can I Still Marry Him?

My Best Friend Accused Him Of Cheating:Can I Still Marry Him?

Hello ma,

Please what do you think? Help me ask the house too. So,my fiance and I have been together for almost three years. He actually engaged me like three months ago. Everything is going fine. Our plan is to have the wedding by last quarter of the year.\

My fiance is very good to me. He is quite handsome too. I see how ladies stare at him when we are together. When we got engaged,we both agreed to open a joint account so we can save for our wedding and our marriage in future. Since we opened the account,he has put like N90k in the account while I have out like 430k.

Well,I actually earn higher than him and he has obligations in his family and aged parents. He sends money to them every month while I do not as my family is ok financially. A month ago,he asked for my permission to withdraw the sum of 200k from the account. He needed to help his parents pay house rent. He promised to return it.

A week ago. My best friend Talia calls me to say she has something to tell me. That my fiance has been trying to get her to sleep with him and that he even gave her 100k as advance if she did. I was shocked. She said he has been on her for over seven months. I asked her why she did not tell me,she said because she did not want me to be heart broken.

That she thought after getting engaged, that he would stop pestering her but he continued. I could not believe what my friend was telling me. I confronted him that evening and he said that it was my friend that was coming after him. long story short,she was flirting with him but he did not want to engage her.

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That she began to be suicidal and threatened to kill herself if he did not sleep with her. So,he begged her to ask anything except sex,so she agreed to 500k. He agreed to give her 300k but later on,decided not to anymore in order not to look desperate or guilty,so he sent her only 100k. Part of the money her borrowed from me to help pay his parents rent.

I really did not expect any of these drama from my best friend and my fiance. I did not know who to believe. It was she said,he said. But both of them kept whatever was happening from me. I never felt so betrayed in my life. I asked for text messages or anything to show proof and both of them said they made never texted,just spoke face to face.

Something is fishy and it makes me doubt my fiance.My fiance says my best friend wants to destroy my happiness. Is this true? I have known my bestie for over 17 years of my life. At least,she was the first to open up to me…I know she can be crazy:she has a bubbly personality but I never ever saw her as a fiance snatcher.

I told my elder sister…she told my brother. They both agree that the my best friend is the person to believe.That she will not be telling lies cos we have known each other for many years. I broke up with my fiance. I have been crying like a baby. I feel lost cos I truly love him. But my fiance insists that my best friend is deceiving me ,that she is truly a bad person.

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He came to my place yesterday saying he is ready to swear or take a lie detector test to prove he is telling the truth. Mind you,I am a christian and cannot swear. As for lie detector test,where do I get that from? Is he really telling the truth? Should I forgive him and give him a second chance? I love him but I am also worried about him.

Please advise me.


Port Harcourt


Photo Credit:Classic 105

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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello ,

    I beieve that your best friend is hitting on your fiance. I also beleive that your fiance is trying to sleep with her.

    What should you do? Dump both of them! They should never had hidden it from you no matter how they explain that they wanted to protect you.

    Protect you…really???…for seven whole months?

    Lets say your girl was truly trying to protect you: so she would have allowed you marry a man who was hitting on her? She hid that for 7 months……

    Something went wrong,they quarreled …that is why your friend told you…she told you to try to get back at him and he too…he is something else.

    Your wife to be,best friend???….haba…its mostly people close to you that try to take your man or woman….

    Dump both of them…if you feel your man shows enough remorse,take him back but you have to be wtchful for the rest of your life… is already tampered with.

    I wish you all the best in life.

  2. Why will your fiance give your best friend #100,000 if his hands are clean. Why did he lie to you that he wanted to use the money to pay rent for his parents and he ended up not using it for that purpose. Is your fiance saying that your best friend is now more important to him than his parents.
    To be honest with you, your fiance’s story just does not sit well with me. I think he has something or a lot of things to hide. Now even if your best friend was the one who tried to seduce him, he did not handle the matter in a honest and sincere way which leaves room for anyone to be suspicious of him.
    As for your friend, how has your relationship been with her, has she displayed any attitude like jealousy around you before now? Has she ever acted funny with you before now? Take time to think about how she has acted towards you before now. If she has been sincere with you before now, then it will be safe to believe her now. But if she has lied to you before or dishonest with you before now, then you have to be weary of her.

    Personally, I think you should take a break from both of them. Give yourself time from both of them, pray and think things through so you don’t end making a mistake at the end of the day.

  3. Withdraw the remaining 320k from the account that is if he hasn’t taken all of the money in the joint account . Tell your girlfriend to transfer the 100k he sent to her because you loaned him the money thinking it was for his parent’s rent. Because she wants you to believe her she will give it back. Then give both of them some space to sort out their problems. You can take the 420k go on a vacation or shopping you will definitely feel better afterwards. The man is not worth your time if you go on with him you will be funding his infidelity. Recovering your money will really get at him. He was with you because of the financial help he was getting.

    • I feel them both are a scam. Please take the balance from the account, enforce a refund for the 100k. Marriage has enough problems on its plate and if you must enter one it should be on a clean slate its never best to get married whilst entangled in the twine of these two. Please do yourself a favour and bow out

  4. Truth is they both betrayed you but your friend came out first,meaning she should be trusted more than your fiancé..100k to not commit suicide is complete lies,men are known to turn tables when caught,that’s why most people don’t spill because they will fear no one will believe them…don’t even take him back,else you will suffer his lies and cheating for the rest of your life.

  5. Hi Nnenna,

    I’ll advice on other silent points.

    No matter how well off your parents are, from time to time send gifts of love to them , do not be in a position where a spouse is taking care of His family, you keep picking up the bills supporting Him and waving off your family completely, your parents put in the effort and made sacrifices to ensure you were well taken care of, making provisions for themselves in future not to be a burden on you.

    Another point , He saved about 90k , you above 430k. I appreciate some men have humble beginnings but the danger of going above and beyond include a man taking the back sit financially prioritising the little he has on parents and siblings and leaving you to foot the bills of your home. Initially it may be ok but as your family size increases and you have more domestic responsibilities you may begin to feel frustrated constantly thinking ahead of every bill. Even if you are more well off , handle it with wisdom, bring to the table almost equal amounts, you could take care of other responsibilities towards the wedding at the side silently but let him take the lead . I am aware that some men in that position become brilliant after they stabilise but even then you don’t know what the future holds so groom him to always have that sense of responsibility.

    Others have advised on the points you raised.

    All the best.


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