My Baby Mama Does Does Not Want Marriage To Tie Her Down


Hello LivelyStones,

I started reading your blog and some other Nigerian blogs shortly before I became incarcerated. I have a Nigerian baby mama whom I have been with for over seven years. We have a daughter and I love them both so much. I made a huge mistake,that is why I am going to prison for three years.

Just before I went to jail,I asked my baby mama to marry me. I love her and I think it was the right thing to do cos I did not want to go to jail without making her my wife. But shockingly,she declined my proposal. She said she did not want to be tied down by marriage because she felt I should have proposed to her early on before the prison sentence. She did not think I proposed cos Iloved her but cos I was afraid …maybe she is right but…


Truth be told,I know that being with someone for 8 years is a long time but I was hoping for the right time to do it. I guess that right time will never be. But for her to reject my proposal was a total let down. I felt bad but she said she would wait for me and when I get back after three years,we can carry on from there.

Its been like five months since my incarceration. She has only come to see me once. I feel hurt and I want to break up with her. I do not trust her intentions. Why did she not accept my proposal. Why has she not come to see me since all these time?Maybe she truly wants to move on. I really want to know before I make up my mind…when I called her and asked her if she wanted to move on,she said no but I am not sure if she truly meant that…what do think I should do?

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Jake (Not real name)



Photo Credit:CBS Atlanta

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  1. Hello Jake,

    Glad you know you made a huge mistake and we look forward to you coming out from jail and being a better person.

    As for you babbymama….give her time…also give yourself time…do not make this life decision because of your current circumstances. Think long and pray hard on it…if you still feel the same way after 3 years…and she is still available…then marry her.

    If not…let her be and focus on being better and getting out a better man.

    All the best.


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