Tuesday, July 14, 2020
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Married At 17,Abused For 9 Years,I Want A Divorce:Please Advise Me

Hello,

Someone referred me to you. I am facing abuse in my marriage. He married me at 17 yrs and he has taking advantage of that. I am 28 years old now. He is 49. I dropped out of Secondary school and he didn’t allow me further my studies

No work, no job, no business, no carrier, no future. I’m just here like here, whatever the day brings I take it like that. He don’t support me financially. He drops ₦500 sometimes ₦1000 that is what I use and take care of myself as a woman

He forces sex on, gets me pregnant and aborts the baby. I aborted 5 pregnancy for him last year. He call me a prostitute and lesbian. He throws me out anytime he wants simply because he can do it and he knows I have no place to go.

I am the only child of my Mother. I have step siblings but we are not in good terms since my childhood.

We have 4 Children together. But I dont mind leaving the children with their father. I tried once to run away one time so  this is not the first time am separating from them. He loves and takes care of them

I swear I will lose my sanity or hurt myself if I continue like this. The only money I managed to save this Christmas is just 15k. That is the only money I have in this planet Earth.The only challenge I have is accommodation.

I can search for job, or start up something no matter how little.  If that he is giving me enough money for upkeep, I would have stayed back a little and save enough before leaving so I can rent an apartment and start up a small business.

Also Read >>  My Fiance is Moving Abroad But I Am Afraid To Join Him

Someone dashed me 50k on Christmas, he paid the money to his account and him to give it to me since that day he has seized the money.

Bug this one he doesn’t drop kobo…I do not know what to do,please advise me.

 

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Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

3 COMMENTS

  1. Hello,

    This must be hard. But I congratulate you for being such a strong woman. Thank you for reaching out.

    What I can say is: isnt there anyone that can help you? What about your mother?

    If you were in Lagos,the Lagos State Ministry of Women Affairs maybe able to help as they assist women in abusive marriages.

    There are a couple of NGOs as well that maybe able to assist. We will send you their contact details in a private email.

    In the meantime,keep your head down. Try and stay out of his way. Avoid anything that could lead to violence or continuous abuse. Maybe seek refuge with your mother for the meantime.

    Have you also tried reaching out to his family members or elders to speak to him? Perhaps there is someone that he respects that he will listen to. Whatever his anger,do not try to address it or provoke it…your goal is to stay safe and alive until things change or until you can empower yourself.

    Remember God loves you…you will smile again…the storm will not last always.

    Please stay in touch. God bless you.

  2. Hello,

    It’s so sad that you went through this ordeal at a young age and even now. I want to assure you that Jesus knows and He care affectionately for you.

    The money you have saved is your bail out. How do I mean? Since that’s the only thing on you how about giving it to Jesus to multiply for you? Remember the 5 loaves of bread and 2 fishes.

    Hand it over to Him and He’ll turn your life around for good. He’ll give you a fresh start, a clean slate and an enviable future. As for that man, he’s not a god but a mere man. God knows how to deal with him. Whatever he’s done to you, pls don’t seek revenge trust God on that, I tell you, He’ll justly deal with him that you will feel sorry for him.

    I know all the trauma you have been through but talking about it won’t get us anywhere but there’s One who wants to give you a brand new life.

    Just put your life in His hands and He’ll make it brand new.

    All the best.

  3. Hello
    In addition to what others have said, I will advise you try to ignore that man (though not easy) and concentrate on Jesus. Build a strong relationship with Him. Hand your battles to HIM and believe He can take care of you. No condition stands hopeless before Him. Always report that man to Him whenever he abuses you.
    Truth is that Jesus knows what you are passing through and probably maybe waiting for you to come to Him. He encourages people to come to Him with their loads and heavy burdens with a promise to give them rest.

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