Saturday, December 7, 2019
Home Marriage Marriage Turned To Polygamy & Hell Hole: Please Advice Me!

Marriage Turned To Polygamy & Hell Hole: Please Advice Me!

Dear Jzhane,

I need your help and prayers. I am a married woman with three children. I married my husband eight years ago. Initially,my family did not give their consent to the marriage. This is because my husband came from a different religious background than mine.

When we started dating,my husband told me it doesn’t matter what religion we practice. That he will even join me to be attending church. And during our dating,he used to come to church with me. Eventually we got married in church.

All has been well with us until last year. I noticed my husband’s strange behaviors. He started to come home late. And he would say he is tired when I want him to make love to me. I started suspecting something was wrong. I began to pray and frankly speaking,its like the more I prayed,the more things seemed to get worse.

He of course,stopped going to church and began to complain that my prayers were disturbing him. My church people said it was spiritual war fare. I fasted 14 days,21 days…I prayed and went to mountain.

Well,early this year,my husband came and told me that he wants to marry a second wife. That his religion accepts more than one wife. I cried and cried. I felt I was truly deceived y this man. But I listened to advice and stayed in my marriage while my husband brought in a second wife into our home.

Of course,he stopped sleeping with me. He hardly spoke to me. I will be in my room hearing their moans as they made love. I cried and cried. Since February this year,it has been turmoil. I cannot take this anymore. I refused to leave but right now,I think I have tried.

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This is no longer a marriage. I have been deprived s*xually. I have been neglected. My children are being treated like strangers in their father’s house. This new wife is mean. She disrespects me and my husband supports her. He even said he made a mistake to marry me.

What am I still waiting for? I want to leave …I only know it will e difficult as my job cannot sustain me and my children with the lifestyle they are used to. But I am ready to endure anything. My parents feels so angry with me for disobeying them initially.

My pastor however is telling me not to divorce as divorce is a sin. That polygamy is not a crime.I want to be a believer but right now,I cannot remain in this hell hole called marriage. Please advice me…I am fed up and loosing my life here…

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Again,the new wife is pregnant…the emotional pain is too much for me to bear…seeing another woman bearing a child for my husband….I cannot take it anymore.

Share on the platform please…

From Stella (Not real name)


Photo Credit:The Atlantic

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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello Stella,

    You have prayed and endured. Maybe you need to sometime to yourself, Is there somewhere you can go to and have sometime for yourself?

    Like you said,your job may not be enough to sustain you but you have to strive and make it. Staying and constantly seeing the display of your husband and his second wife will only keep hurting you.

    God does not like divorce but God loves you and does not want to see you constantly sad and this might lead to depression. Your children need you well and alive. So,you have to start planning for your future and your children’s future.

    Life is full of ups and downs…do not give up…dry your eyes…this is just a bump in the road of life…pick yourself up and get going again….you can do this…

    God bless.


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