Making Marriage Work:Marrying Aright–Don’t Trade Your Desires


People have challenges in marriages in most cases because they traded their desires just to have a spouse.  It is possible your biological clock is ticking fast and you don’t want to wait anymore, therefore, what you considered your big deals in the man or woman you want, you begin to put an “x” on them just to enable you say YES or go after anyone who happens to catch your “fancy”.  That is a dead-end game and you should not play it.

Busty and beautiful

Everyone of us has got what we desire in the wife or husband of our dreams.  If you have not figured that out, this post should be a stimulant for doing so.  What do you want in a man or woman?  In your inner heart’s recesses, what are the critical physical criteria, intellectual capacity or social class you want your wife or husband to possess or belong to?  When you get that truly figured out, and you know that you are not getting over yourself seeing that you are seeking what you can match with your own life, then your search can be more defined.  In this case, you can easily say YES or NO when someone comes along.



When you give up your desires for any reason(s) besides a divine instruction, there is a likelihood that you will adulterate your marriage by seeking that which you gave up in someone else outside the union later.  For instance, if your fantasy about a wife is someone who is tall and busty, and you eventually settle for an average height person and who is not busty, when you meet such persons later in your married life, they will become objects of temptation for you.  If as a lady, you have always desired a tall, handsome and fair complexioned guy who wears a constant beard on his face, then for one reason or the other, you settle for a short, dark and plain faced guy, it is very likely that your first fantasy will always be staring you in the face as a temptation when you meet such a person.

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Don’t be scared to follow your desires; they will come to pass if you can wait for them.  The challenge with today’s generation of youths is that we don’t know how to wait for what we want.  It is true that most ladies want to marry someone who will take care of them, but while they must ensure to develop skills so they too can bring something to the table, if their initial desire is to marry a guy who is fairly comfortable and is not struggling with the payment of his bills, societal pressures and aging can make such ladies settle for some guy who may not even have a means of livelihood!  When you do that, you shoot yourself in the foot and may end up taking care of that guy for the rest of the marriage.


While your desires are important, you must ensure that they are not unrealistic.  Don’t desire anything based on Hollywood and Nollywood standards; they are make-believe and merely show-business.  Your desires about who you want in your spouse must be realistic and not far-fetched.  It is also totally not impossible that you might have to trade a few desires which might not be completely central to the success of a marriage; but for all its worth, don’t trade your big deals.  If you do, you will pay for it later.



Photo Credit:Blackradionetwork

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