I have a confession to make and I need your help. I am in a relationship that is leading to marriage. Its been two years. To be honest, I kind of entered this relationship cos I wanted to revenge on ex. I was with my ex for a year but he cheated on me and out of anger,I broke up with him and moved on to the next available guy.
Since then,my ex has begged me,tried everything to woo me but I stubbornly refused. However,in my heart,I knew I was still madly in love with him. My current boyfriend is the nicest. He treats me so goo but if I am honest,he is not half as interesting as my ex.
After a year of begging,my ex let me be. I also tried to focus on my new relationship. Now,I have met his family and they have met mine. We are talking introduction this December. Until last month for some odd reason,I checked my ex on social media and saw he was dating someone.
The rage and jealousy that overwhelmed me was something else. I became restless. I then chatted with him on whatsapp. That was my mistake. He was so happy we chatted. We continued chatting. I knew what I was doing was wrong but I could not stop.
To make matters worse,anytime I had a misunderstanding with my boyfriend,I would tell my ex.He would tell me things like,I would never do that to you…if you gave me a second chance I would show you how important you are to me…
I asked him about the girl he is dating,he said he would dump her for me if I said yes. So,I said yes to him. The flirting took a different turn. We began to talk dirty and sexual. I wanted to meet with him so bad. I began to plan how to meet with him. And then the devil showed up.
I forgot that I linked my whatsapp on my ipad. The day I was chatting with my ex…my ipad was in the sitting room and my boyfriend was around. He was browsing with it and I completely forgot. So,he saw the chat notifications and saw my chat with my ex.
My boyfriend came to the room and showed me my chats on my ipad and I swear,I was dumb. I could not speak. I looked at him and all I could muter was :sorry. He dropped my ipad and left my house. Since then,he has never called me or said anything.
I also did not call him. He saw my chat. He saw everything. What will I say. Besides,I am sure I am more in love with my ex than my boyfriend. But I am scared. Scared of my ex. He cheated once before…will he cheat again?
I could never bear it if he cheated again…he swears he will never cheat on me again. I wish I could explain how I feel about my ex…he makes me really happy. In many ways that my boyfriend has never done.
I saw him yesterday. I was like a teenager with her first boyfriend. I just dont know why I am so scared…am I making a mistake? Someone said,true love can hurt you…should I run away from true love for my ex and go with my boyfriend (if he will accept me back)who I love but not as much as my ex?
I am confused …excited but this feeling is giving me danger vibes…what do I do…I guess I know what to do but am scared to do it…anyone who has been in a similar situation before?
Anonymous LS Fan