Wednesday, February 19, 2020
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Long Distance Relationship: We Are Having Communication Problems

Good evening ma,

Please ma I have something that is bothering me. I need advise.

I have a friend we have known ourselves for 2 years now but it seems our relationship is not working really well.

We lack communication. We are very far from each other. We see once in a while. We only chat and call sometimes. But it seems we are not connected because our communication is poor and because of that, everything he planned doing was put on hold.

He said it himself that we communicate as if we are just normal friends but I don’t know how to make that work. Note that we talk every day on the phone but he says the communication is not working.

I love him ma. I know he loves me too. He said so. But how do we improve our communication please?


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello,

    Log distance relationships can be hard to maintain. Not everyone can manage it.

    First: when did you notice the communication problem…even when you speak to each other everyday??

    If the connection is not there…something else maybe the cause of the distraction. Maybe work or other people in both your lives.

    The solution is: you need to talk more and make more time for each other. Maybe talk more than once everyday. What is the quality of your conversations? Find out what could be bothering either of you.

    If it is work related,encouarge each other and pray for each other. If it is other people,you both need to reduce spending time with other people and spend more time together.

    You can schedule video calls or skype calls so you can see each other more.

    Be honest about everything going on in both your lives. If anyone of you is secretly seeing another person,confess to each other…forgive and try to make up. If not…time to break up.

    Note: some people when they want to break up with you…the usual excuse they give is: communication problem.

    So ask yourself if you truly want to bother yourself when a boyfriend says you have communication problems and he is not willing to do anything to solve it.

    Maybe its time to move on….pray about it…have peace in your heart if you did not do anything wrong….a more deserving man will come for you…

    Watch and pray…if nothing changes…move on.


  2. I don’t think you people have communication problem. What I think is that there is no connection between both of you. You don’t connect emotionally, psychologically, mentally etc.
    When you people talk, what do you people talk about?
    Do you talk about your future, goals, dreams?.
    Do you share ideas with one another?
    Can you talk about your feelings with each other?
    Are you both willing to be vulnerable with one another, to freely talk about your feelings without fear? Because there cannot be connection without vulnerability.
    You cannot connect with someone you don’t feel comfortable sharing your feels with.
    Answer the above questions, then you will where you and your boyfriend are having problem from.


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