Wednesday, February 19, 2020
Home Advice It Was A Harmless Office Friendship That Meant No Harm!

It Was A Harmless Office Friendship That Meant No Harm!

Hello everyone,

I think am in deep shit…where I work..we do go for training.This story is long..please don’t mind my typo-error and please bear with me.

It a big company and it has subsidiaries where by we all have a training academy.. I met a guy there, and we both married, I am married with 3 kids and he is yet to have any children.

We became friends recently and  he started coming close to me of which I made him realized we gonna be just platonic friends no hidden agenda of which my hubby is also aware and most of my in-laws.

I wanted to make him a family friend, after a while, I noticed he started coming closer, giving me seductive glances, he chats me in the night and I always caution him..right from time.I always make sure am plain with him but he shows unnecessary attention and when I noticed its becoming too much, I tried drawing back

I am always urging him to spend time with his wife but seems he’s trying to find solace with me which am not comfortable with.

Now this is where I need advice my people….his wife called me this afternoon and was pleading with me to please let her hubby be…that their marriage is still very young and I shouldn’t let him know she called me. And I explained to her that I don’t have anything with her hubby, that its just plain, no hidden agenda, no intimacy whatsoever

She now pleaded with me to help her talk to him because I wanted to block him and warn him never to call,message nor chat me again but she said I shouldn’t do that because he would know she has contacted me.

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I eventually blocked him and he found out it was because of his wife. Now he has threatened to leave home because of that. The wife has been begging me to beg her husband.

I am very angry right now and I think its all my fault because in d first place…I shouldn’t have indulged him. I felt we just friends but I think in dis guy’s mind, we are something else, please how can I go about this.

Please ma/sirs, your advice and opinion is needed, I don’t want to break a me.


Lesedi (not real name)

Johannesburg, South Africa


Photo Credit:Career Addict

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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Dear lesodi,

    Your intentions may have been harmless but clearly that man had other intentions. This is why married people need to learn to draw boundaries with friends of the opposite sex

    Do not assume the other person’s intentions are pure like yours
    Do not encourage taking rides with them alone in the car
    Do not encourage compliments that are sexually laced or suggestive

    Now,to the matter at hand: you need to call that man to order and advise him to be a better man

    For him to be angry with his wife shows he is not even repentant. If your husband knows him,maybe your husband can have a man to man talk with him…he needs to focus on his marriage

    The way the wife is paranoid shows they maybe having issues you are not aware of and he is having an emotionally with you.

    An emotional affair is when a person not only invests more of their emotional energy outside their marriage but also receives emotional support and companionship from the new relationship. In an emotional affair, a person feels closer to the other party and may experience increasing sexual tension or chemistry. (Source: google)

    You need to stay away from that man …he needs to sort his issues with his wife….and he is using you to cause a rift….

    The wife does not need to call you anymore…let her seek help for her marriage from a professional.On your part,stay away from this man…if possible,seek for transfer away from the same subsidiary that both of you are.

    In future,please be more careful and wise.

    God bless


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