Saturday, May 30, 2020
Home Marriage Is There Something Wrong With Our S*x Life?- Please Help!

Is There Something Wrong With Our S*x Life?- Please Help!

Good Evening ma,

I am on the Whatsapp group page of livelystone. I have a question and I was directed to whatsapp you.I have a question I want to ask,I want you to post on the group so that I can learn from the comments.

I just got married not up. Barely a month ago.We were not sxually active for like two years that was because he was outside the country. We were both virgins when we met,we had sx but You know sx of novice was just there,this was before two years that we were not sxually active.

Even at that when we were dating,in a year we could have s*x like 2 or 3 times.That was how it was until he traveled for 2 years.

Now I was anticipating when I get married it will be better.On our wedding night it was like I was forcing him to make love to me.I did not really enjoy s*x like I would. I don’t know if is because he doesn’t want a baby now or because he is still learning the act that why it is like this or I should give it more time.

Or is there something I need to do in order to enjoy s*x with my husband.Least I forget he has returned back to his base for now.

I really want to know if there is something I can do to enjoy s*x better because this few days I had to go back to some books like the Act of marriage but am not satisfied yet.


From A Worried Whatsapp Member of LS


Photo Credit:CrossWalk

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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello Dear,

    First congratulations on your marriage. I have a few thoughts on this issue:
    1. You just got married…barely a month…perhaps its too early to start thinking there is a problem…when you had sex before marriage,was he like that? said,he was a novice…maybe he still needs to learn more…

    2. Perhaps,he was tired on the wedding night. There is a huge wedding night secret most people will NEVER tell you: Most wedding nights for virgins or non sexually active couples is very horrible…why? For virgins,it could be painful and gross…for non sexually active people…it could be awkward….cos its been a long time

    3. There is also the issue of frigidity among this case,its possible your husband has it too. It could be as a result of built up mindsets or bad traumatic experiences from his past. It is a psychological issue but can be addressed.

    Now,in addressing the issues raised…all must be addressed in a non threatening,non judgmental,love manner.

    For most men…sex is about their ego…so if you have to communicate a sex problem with him…he needs to understand that you are not trying to bruise his ego but asking for understanding so both of you can get help

    Have you prayed about it? What has prayer got to do with sex? God does wonders you know,…..

    Talk to your husband…even now that he is not around…have flirty and sexy conversations with him when you talk to him on the phone…that will build the sexual tension for when you both see again…

    Read and make more research….watch romantic movies together….be creative when you actually have sex…do not wait for him to make all the flexible..thats the beauty of marriage….you have licence to explore all your sexual sides with your spouse

    Be patient with him…you have a whole life time ahead of you …if the issue persists..then you can both talk to a therapist…I recommend a professional therapist as men do not like to discuss their sex lives with people they know…communicate with kindness and love

    You will be fine…what no one told you is that marriage involves a certain level of work and commitment to make it successful…now,it starts…make it work girl!

    I want to hear from you as things progress…I am confident that you guys will get past this…

    God bless you.

  2. P.S: Not all wedding night sex is gross..its important that I make that clear…it varies from couple to couple…but for some,its not all they expected.

    But its just a wedding night…there will be many more marriage nights to explore….

    Expectations also differ when it comes to sex…talk about your sexual expectations with your spouse in a loving way too.



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