I am in a relationship with a man (lets call him Debo) that I have known for almost 8 years. When I first met him,he told me he was divorced. Then,I was 37 years old. He is a nice man. He takes care of me and all that. We both love each other.
About a year and half later,I found out that he was not divorced. He was still married to his wife of over 26 years. The woman though has moved to the US and does not want to divorce because of their social status. But she gave him permission to have a mistress.
When I found out,I was upset and broke off with him. I was single for over two years with no sensible relationship . Being a single woman in your 40s is not easy. I tried but Debo kept coming for me. He said we can be friends but he is just too charming to be just friends.
Debo has been my support system for years. Spends money on me….I just wish he would divorce that lady if they are not in love but I guess their social status is more important to them….I never planned to be anyone’s side chic but in this case…its not really side chic when the wife does not mind…
My problem is,even though I broke up with Debo,I keep going back to him and regretting it after. Last night,we had a talk and I cried telling him I feel bad that we cannot be legally married cos of his selfishness.
Debo now said we can get married secretly by native marriage. That we can keep it away from his wife. I am 45 years old. My only viable suitor is a man who is not living with his wife but he does not want to divorce her.
Maybe this is my destiny. I dont want to grow old alone. I am tempted to agree to Debo’s proposal. At least I will be married by tradition. I can have children inside wedlock not as a baby mama. But that also makes me a second wife.
Is polygamy ok for a Christian? I know bible does not say its bad but most churches preach against it….what if the wife finds out,I hope she will not make trouble cos the man seems to like to do what she says. If he tells her to divorce me….am a bit scared of that.
My situation is not perfect but its my only choice. If God wanted me to marry a fresh man,he has not provided any for me do far…and my clock is ticking…Please advise me. I need encouragement. Maybe there is someone out there, that has been in my condition before,please can they share with me how they made it work?
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