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In Love With A Former Stripper -My Only Worry Is About Her Honesty

Hello Admin,

I am in love with a lady who used to work in an adults club. She used to work there as a dancer and stripper. I actually met her when she worked as an escort to a friend’s party. I got attracted to her and tried to ask her out for an after show performance but she declined saying she is not a prostitute. No matter how much I promised to compensate her,she declined.

A few days later,I ran into her on a flight from Lagos to Port Harcourt.I tried to shoot my shot again and she declined again. I did not give up. I told her I liked her and wanted to be with her. She asked: casual or permanent? I just wanted her so bad …I just blurted :permanent!

She gave me her number and we started communicating. I found out that she was a part time student who was trying to make ends meet by stripping in the clubs and private parties. She also had plans to retire. I chatted with her for two months and she never let me as much as kiss her. I wanted to leave her but I found out she was one of the smartest and funniest women I know.

I asked her to stop stripping so I could sponsor her academics…she said as what? That she would not be my slave…wow..I was impressed…she only agreed if I could help her get a job. With her qualification,getting her a job was out of it. She said she could buy and sell hair…so I gave her the money and she started selling human hair on Instagram. She stopped stripping.

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We have been together for almost one year plus. I am in love with her. I want to marry her. The only problem is…most of my friends know her from her old job. I could care less but she is very embarrassed by her past. We have been dating but keeping it private. I am ready to take it to the next level but she is afraid that she will embarrass me. I have told her that I will not be embarrassed that was when she dropped the bomb…

It turns out,she had actually slept with one of my friends. According to her,he was the only one she slept with at the time cos he made her believe they were in a relationship. It lasted four months before it broke off. Even though this revelation is not a big deal for me,I wondered why she never mentioned it in almost one year plus.

She said she was afraid of loosing me. What if its not even the entire truth? What if she slept with more of my friends? I know she is scared and tells little lies because life has been hard on her…she has been on the streets since she was 12 years old. I understand her fear but her lies…I am a bit worried…

All of the above questions would not have changed anything if she told me earlier…do you feel me please? Do you think I should let this concern go? Or probe her further. She and I are good. She likes the fact that I do not bug her about her past…I told her I am ready to marry her and forget about if she slept with my friend…do you think I am doing the right thing or should I probe further before going ahead?

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Whatever advice I get here,I will still go ahead and marry her cos she is the best thing that happened to me…I just do not want to get burned in the process….

Thank you.




Photo Credit:Page Six

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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello Richie,

    Very commendable story you have here…

    Here is my know who you are you either accpet her FULLY ans TOTALLY for who she is..or walk away.

    You must assume the worst case scenario here…she was no saint when you met but you still picked her

    She lies….it will take a while for the lying to stop

    Be yourself…love her all the same…sit her down and let her know that you love her and no matter what she has done in the past,you have forgiven her ahead…let her feel comfortable to always come to you with her deepest secrets.

    If you love her that much…you will not be afraid of getting burnt…its a leap of faith into the dark and unknown…your only trust is in the love both of you share.

    You also need to build a relationship with God…both of you…the word Of God has a way of cleansing and renewing the mind.

    God bless you.

  2. I feel you brother

    But hey, if she did stop stripping, her old life just at you telling her to and engage in a biz. She is worth keeping

    Honestly, there might be a lot of her past you wouldn’t want to hear but if you’re OK with the person she has become, you forge ahead

    Allow her to you at her own time, do not bug her cos she might detach from you

    If its possible, just ask her if there’s anything else she would love to tell you, but don’t go about asking of her past


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