I Was Violated In My Brother’s House And He Refused To Protect Me

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Good Day LS,

I want to remain anonymous. I am furious and sad and disappointed by what happened and the way my family especially my brother is treating the matter. My eldest brother who is like 9 years older than me is engaged to this Edo lady. They have been dating for about three years and they plan to get married this year. The lady is nice to me so I have no cause to dislike her even though I feel like she is a fake girl. She likes all things fake,very materialistic too. I lost my parents when I was two years old so my eldest brother has been like the one taking care of all of us ,i.e,me and my other sister. We lived with him all through and when he told us he wanted to get married,he said he would rent a place close to his house so we can still be close. I dont like the idea but it seems like its his fiance trying to push us aside. Well,me and my sister talked about it and we just wanted what is best for our brother.

Last week,I was in my brother’s house. I came back from school feeling quite tired so I went straight to bed. Around 9pm,someone came into my room and it was Toju,my brother’s fiancee’s brother. He comes around sometimes when he is in town. He is a student at UNN. I attend ESUT here in Enugu. My sister is doing her NYSC in Ondo. He told me he came in and no body has been at home that he is hungry. That was when I noticed that my brother was not back. I said ok and I went to the kitchen to make him food. I finished and served him food. I then called my brother who told me that he was coming back late. I told him I kept food for him in the microwave. I then went to sleep.

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Not up to 30mins later,someone came into my room again. It was Toju again. Before I could ask him what he wanted this time,he came on me and started to touch me inappropriately. I was shocked and began to fight him. But clearly,he knew what he wanted and being more powerful than me,he is tall and big. He over powered me not too long and before I knew it,he was r*ping me. I wanted to die. I just wanted to die. He finished after a few minutes and started to beg me,saying it was the devil. I just lay there,seeing blood around me,I was too shocked and too traumatized. I cried and cried and it seemed like the night mare didnt want to go away. I locked my door when I noticed Toju had left. I cried more ,I dont know when I fell asleep. I woke up around 2am and went to check my brother. He was sleeping,I woke him up and told him what happened. I showed him the blood and my body.

Immediately,my brother went to Toju’s room and began to beat him up. It was a horrible night. The next morning,his fiancee rushed in from Onitsha. We told her what happened and she was crying and begging. I was treated in the hospital in the morning.I asked my brother why he didnt report to the police but he told me not to worry that he is trying to protect me from the stigma of being a r*pe victim. But I dont care about stigma. I want Toju to pay for this injustice done to me. Its been over a week now and my brother still insists on not reporting to the police. He actually said if I reported by myself,he would disown me as his sister for life.

I know its the fiancee that is behind all this. What is more annoying is that,they have carried on their wedding planning as if nothing happened. They are talking about their traditional wedding this coming July. I feel so pained. My brother says its cos I dont want him to marry this his fiancee that is why I am insisting on reporting her brother. How my brother would still even want to marry this lady who’s brother took away my virginity is mind boggling. For the first time in many years,I wished my parents were alive to fight for me. My brother has forbidden me to tell any of my uncles or aunties what happened. I feel so betrayed by my brother. The one who is supposed to protect me.

Right now,I need help because I have been having suicidal thoughts. I want justice or I will take my life. Should I go and report the matter myself? I am 19 years old,I am old enough to speak for myself. But if I do and my brother disowns me,how do I live? Maybe it is better to die. Maybe ….please help me.

Anonymous,

Enugu

 

Photo Credits: Closer

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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

12 COMMENTS

  1. Hello my dear…

    I am so sorry to hear about your situation. My dear,you dont deserve to go through such a traumatic experience.

    How I wish you were in Lagos,the ministry of women affairs in Lagos state deals with cases like this and they will protect you and make sure that you dont suffer in silence. I dont know how effective,the agency is in Enugu.

    In any case,I would advise you to speak with an elderly person that your brother respects. Your brother needs to do the right thing. Whether he still goes ahead to marry this woman,is up to him really. I wish he would be more sensitive and considerate of your feelings even though the act was committed by the woman’s brother and not the woman.

    But your brother should not cover up the crime. Toju must be made to pay for his crime. Except you choose to forgive him willingly.

    In all my dear,DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TAKE YOUR LIFE…NOOOO….

    Killing yourself over what that trash boy did to you is not worth it at all….YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND GOD LOVES YOU AND YOUR FUTURE IS BRIGHT.

    I cant wait to see what you will turn out to become in future. I am sure you will be strong and very intelligent. And yes,this world needs you. One day,you will be an inspiration to all who know you…so its okay to feel bad and depressed today cos of what happened to you..but my dear,you will be fine…

    Keep talking to us at LS…join our whatsapp group so we can be in touch. We will be praying for you…be strong baby girl..the storm is over!

    Gob bless you.

  2. Oh my God! I believe your brother love his woman so much for him to not want to do d right thing. As for me, I will report to my aunts and uncles and also to the police. If he disown me, he is not my God. One day God will allow him see his wrongs. Sorry dear

  3. If reporting to the police and telling all your uncles and aunts what has happened will help you deal with the stigma then go ahead.
    Your state of.mind is much more important now and No One can help you deal with it except God and yourself. You needs to be punished so he does not harm another girl.
    Weight the circumstances, his disowning you means material benefits, then brace yourself to look after yourself for the time being but I believe he will get over it at some point.
    Discuss the worst outcome with your sister and go ahead. It’s a big trauma and should not be kept quiet.

  4. Talk to your brother too. Tell him how much you love him and wish him the best but you can’t live with the trauma if further actions not taken.
    Remember weight the options available to you on every side as you go along with your plans.
    I strongly believe it should be reported.

  5. Don’t even contemplate suicide cos if u do, u will become a complete loser n a sinner before God. Talk to relatives about it fast n report him to d authorities so that he can pay for his crime. I know how u feel n u can only feel better when u get justice. Your brother is blinded by love n so is dead to d trauma u feel right n can never help u to get justice. So fight for ur right n don’t die in cowardice. If your brother disowns u for fighting or seeking justice against your violator, don’t worry because u can survive without him.that shldnt threaten u. Not speaking up or punishing rapist because of stigma is what makes them grow stronger n prey n prowl on their innocent victims mostly women. Speak out hare n let d devil be disgraced.

  6. This is so pathetic that even in the 21st century that we are in now your brother could be talking about covering up a rape case because of the stigmatization. So sorry that you are passing through this alone, please speak an elderly and respected person close to your family. I believe he/she will find a way to help you with the trauma and also report the case to the police to bring that boy to justice. please be strong young lady, your future is bright so don’t take your life.

  7. We will all become what we will be in life with or without the help of anyone, that your brother threatened you should not change your mind from getting justice, I’m sure that had it been that your brothers babe had cheated on him he won’t forgive her. Reporting the case does not stop the marriage afterall it’s only the offender that will be prosecuted and the girls family should be happy if your brother is still interested in getting marry to his babe. Your sanity is important. If you kill yourself or have psycho issues your brother will live his life, this is your life go to the police or prosecutors get justice for yourself, restore your dignity cos in the future this same guy will mock and taunt you and by then there will be nothing you can do. I AM TALKING FROM EXPERIENCE.

  8. My dear,go and report the incidence to Wacol,No 9 umuezebi street upper chime new heaven Enugu.Ull jst sit back and watch them fight for u.With that ur brother cannot send u out or maltreat u in anyway bcos his hands will b tied by d law.That monster must not go free,even if u’r going to bring him to book jst to save his next victim cos a rapist Neva stops.

  9. My dear sister,so sad about your story, please report this issue before is too late, the boy must not go free,i pity ur brother bcos am so sure this boy can do same thing to your brother female piking,am not so sure The woman no dey use juju for your brother self bcos y would Your brother not want to fight you, you are old enough to fight for your right with the help of trustworthy people.The lord is your strength

  10. Hmmmm
    Is quite difficult now because if u report ur Brother will also fall a victim of going to jail for covering such a crime. But if u want justice then go and report the matter rather than dying in silence

  11. Pls tell someone dear or report to the police. Let him disown you and God will raise strangers to help you. Pls dont keep quiet.

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