I Want My Wife Back But I Dont Know What She Wants From Me

This makes me think that my wife's anger issue is hereditary.

5

Hello Admin,

My wife is a fan of your blog so am using this avenue to beg her. When we met three years ago,she was a sweet girl. Always humble and kindhearted. I knew she used to get jealous anytime she suspected me of flirting with other girls. That made her always leave me back then, She would get annoyed and stop talking to me. I was in love with her so I knew I needed to quickly marry her before I blew it with her. I also thought marriage would assure her of my love for her.

In less than a year after we got married,the arguments started heating up. I really thought being married will make her calm down,at least,she is the one I decided to marry out of the many girls around me. But she still got jealous and that was always causing argument between us. I told her not to worry about other ladies,I married her. I may be friendly to other ladies but I know what I have at home,I respect her,abi that’s why I married her now.

But no,my wife will always want to check my phone,go through my social media and be attacking girls on my page. What you cannot do is stop ladies from coming for a man. That’s how God made us. But I will not be worried if I were her. I have told her many times but she will not hear. She would shout at me and me,I am a quiet guy,I don’t like shouting. If I go out and come back late,she will quarrel and shout and all kinds of drama that I don’t like.

This her attitude became worse when she was pregnant,she would be saying that I am sleeping with women cos she is pregnant. Well,am not a saint,I hang out sometimes in the club and with friends cos that’s just me. She met me like that. I cannot just change like that. I am a very happy person so I socialize a lot.  I tried to ignore her ranting during her pregnancy cos I didn’t like the drama anymore. I slept at my friend’s place a couple of times cos I was just scared of going home to an angry pregnant wife. This friend of mine is a bachelor and his fiancee does not give him this much drama. My She complains of me being insensitive and all. I tried to stay with her but she was just too dramatic. Always crying and saying I don’t love her,I am not sensitive,etc. What does she even want from me? Is she not the one driving me nuts now?

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Last month,her mother came to Lagos to see us. I was happy cos I thought her mother will help her to calm down especially cos she is pregnant. But I was surprised,before I came back one day,she and her mother have moved out of my house. I was really in shock. Is her mother not supposed to be a peace maker? Why will she come and take my wife away from me,even with my baby that she is pregnant with? I called and her mother answered me that she will not allow her daughter to return to me unless I swear that I will change.

This made me really angry and I cut the phone on the woman cos I was so upset. Its almost one month now,I have not spoken to my wife or know how she is doing. She is due this month and her mother wont let me see her or call her. This makes me think that my wife’s anger issue is hereditary. I mean,see how angry her mother is with me and making my wife leave her marriage with her pregnancy.

I have been sending text messages and begging her but I wont lie,most times I wonder what have I even done wrong? Most guys have done far worse than me and their wives still love and respect them. I have not impregnated any other woman. I don’t intentionally flirt but I like women,I cant control women from flirting with me na? What does she want me to do? I should wear a sign and say: Women please I am married,stay off? Even these women,when they see wedding ring on your finger,that’s when they even do more to get you.

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Honestly,I didn’t know marriage is like this. Am I going to be in prison now cos I am married? So I am never allowed to talk to other women now? Why cant my wife be reasonable? I have given here assurance by marrying her yet she is still not satisfied. My mother even wants me to divorce her cos she never really liked her. But here I am,still begging her to return. I want to be with her when she gives birth to our baby. Everybody please help me beg her. I want to do better and be a better husband but I also need her to allow me to breathe.

I will take any advice from you people. I know she will read this when you post it,just use my initials alone,not my full name.

Thank you all.

H. B. P

Lagos

Photo Credits:Bona Margazine

 

5 COMMENTS

  1. Hello Sir,

    Thank you for your email and thank you to you and your wife for being fans of our blog.

    First,permit me to be real and blunt with you.

    From your story,it does seem like both you and your wife are a little immature….at least if not in age,in your attitude. I would like to get a chance to speak to your wife too.

    Your wife reacting the way she did is immature and you for refusing to realize that you a a freaking married man is darn immature of both of you.

    You may like women or have women coming onto you but for goodness sake,you make a vow to your wife to remain faithful for better and for worse….stick to your vows!….cut off those kinds of women. Yes,you may not have control over them coming on you but you certainly can make sure that they don’t stay!

    When a woman is pregnant,her hormones are raging. Its amplifying her insecurities and her jealousy.

    Oga…you need to man up and be a man,be the husband that God created you to be.

    Yes,your wife is insecure…and I bet she knew you were a flirt and still married you. But you don’t have to remain like that…you can make a deliberate change..one woman is enough!

    Her anger issues will reduce when you become a more responsible and less philandering! Listen to her heart beat…keep reassuring her…be there for her,for your coming baby!

    If you do that,her mother will not interfere…

    If your wife is reading this…madam,I beg you go back to your husband right now!…stop acting childish!…I know he is behaving like an A-hole but you dont solve problems in your marriage by running away from it…

    Go back home now ans sort it out with him before the devil turns both of you to divorcees (thats not bad if that is what you both want)

    All I am saying though is,both of you need to grow up and stop being selfish and start taking care of each other.

    Madam…let Oga breathe…don’t go after women that you see around him…(on a lighter note…just use holy ghost fire for those bad women)

    Woman,pray for your husband,for God to give him to will and courage to be a better man…Man,go love your wife like God wants you to!.

    Peace be in your home…and have a safe delivery in advance.

  2. Mavis Bon-Chinaka
    But seriously writer I think you really need to read more books on marriage and understand what it means to be married and stay married. In ur post I see ego and so many insensitive talks. I pray you realize what you have pretty soon before you loose it. Your wife isn’t a mad woman, calm down and listen to understand her not to attack her, put yourself in her shoes too and see if u wud be comfortable with ur wife flirting with other men simply because she is beautiful. I suggest u be an upright man and lead ur home in love, wisdom and above all with God. You are married and with what I understand u wrote, u still live like a bachelor. Please u both should try and seek help and counseling from wise people or counselors aside your family members and bring peace back into your home. The grass ain’t greener on the other side. Goodluck.

  3. I hope you change your ways when she returns. No woman who truly loves her husband will take the nonsense of her husband flirting around. Its absurd. Don’t give room for Satan to enter into your home and ravage your marriage. Some women can take this as a license to start misbehaving. A word is enough for the wise

  4. If you love her, just change! Is that too hard? Do you think you are the only man who has the chance to show her affection? Grow Up! Flirting with other women is not normal! Your friends are misguiding you! You need new friends! If you don’t encourage women, they won’t flirt with you!
    Madam, you need your peace of mind. Pls don’t allow Mama to be interfering. Talk to a seasoned counselor. You are due in a month, pls your hubby is willing to change. He will learn how to stay home, stop the plenty clubbing and flirting around (he says he wants his marriage).

  5. I bet y’all who commented here have no idea what it means to be pregnant and have a husband who is a serial cheat and expects you to understand!
    Biko, who wrote the rule that a woman must fight for her man!
    All the goddamn time!
    Can’t the man fight too, or why should the woman be the understanding one and prayer warrior, or you think this is the 18th century where the ultimate goal of a woman is to be a wife and mother, nothing more!
    Let me guess, the wife wants to be more than a wife, she wants to be his girlfriend, his hoe, his baby mama, his jist partner, his flirt partner, his club banger,
    While hubby wants a wife and an opportunity to have a thousand friends…
    I hope he realizes that marriage is actually a a beautiful prison, you can only change jobs, not women!
    Anyway, here is my advice to madam, you don’t believe in divorce, Good!
    Go back home and set the records straight with bros, have a deal breaker too, and leave all third parties out of it! Once you are matured enough to be with a man, you are matured enough to take your own decisions. Next, keep your mind pretty occupied, a job, a hubby, a baby, an active prayer life, etc, to keep you from checking the time anytime he comes back late.
    Ermmm, Uncle husband
    You really need to sit your handsome self home if you are not working or in any other very very important gathering, ain’t no other woman for you there… Except you wanna divorce, go into polygamy or baby mama issues with all their attendant drama.
    Oh! And lest I forget, the love bank also dries up, it is still dripping wet, that is why madam still has the energy to reply you, the day she grows out of you into herself, you won’t need lively stones or facebook for advice, you will feel that empty emotion of someone who has lost the heart of his wife!

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