For the last seven years,all I have done is sacrifice for my family. This is because,I wanted what was best for them: my husband and my kids. When I got married nine years ago,I had already gotten my MsC. Unfortunately,I lost my good job when I got pregnant the first time. I had a very difficult pregnancy and I couldn’t do well at work. Also,after I had my baby,I couldn’t get the type of job I wanted cos it would require so much of my time. My husband encouraged me to take a job that would enable me close on time and come home early to the children. To that effect,I got a job where I was paid so much less than what I was earning. It was not easy,actually nothing to write home about. But I agreed that it was necessary so that I could take care of my baby. My husband was against the idea of a house maid. It was so tough financially that we had to deny ourselves so many things.
By the second year,we had to move into a smaller apartment because we could not afford to pay the rent of our three bedroom apartment. My husband’s job also pays very little. Within the next five years,I had my three children. I come from a family that is well to do but they were not happy that I had refused to pursue a better career to enhance after they had spent so much money to send me to very good schools and get my masters. Throughout those years,we struggled,things were bad and most times,I used to cry just watching how I couldn’t give my kids the kind of life they deserved.
Now,my oldest is six years old and the youngest almost 3 years. I began to apply for better jobs since January this year. In February,I got invited for an interview from a multinational company. I passed through several assessment stages and eventually,I was offered a job worth millions (when you add all benefits). The offer also comes with a car and an official apartment. I was so excited and I knew this was the beginning of good things for me and my family. When I got home and told my husband about the offer,I was not prepared to hear what he had to say. My husband bluntly refused that I should accept the job offer. In fact,he was very angry about it. This is because,the job is in Abuja. Yes,that means,I would have to relocate to Abuja from Lagos. My husband said he cannot allow me to move to a different state apart from him. He also refused the idea that the children would come and stay with me cos the company already provided accommodation.
I couldn’t believe my husband. Here I was very happy that things were going to change for better for us but he just crushed my joy. His reasons for refusing is completely beyond me. He said: if I move to Abuja,I would be exposed to bad influence and maybe start cheating. He also said,If I leave him alone in Lagos,I am exposing him to the risk of other women too. Wow,I think he is just trying to blackmail me from taking the job cos he knows I will never cheat on him. What I don’t know is if I go,if he will cheat on me.
I also feel that he is jealous of the fact that I am moving forward in life,way better than him. But shouldn’t he be happy for me cos promotion in life for me is promotion for my family as well. I told him point blank that I am taking the job. I have suffered for seven years,living below standards. My children deserve a better life. I deserve a better life. I suggested to him that he should come with us and also find a job in Abuja. At least,my new salary can sustain us until he finds a job for himself.He also refused. In his response,he said,ok,do whatever you like,but don’t say I didn’t warn you in case you loose your marriage. Why cant he be happy for me,why cant he just support me for once in my life? I very disturbed by this. My parents of course supported my moving to Abuja.
The offer is effective from the 1st of June 2018. I need prayers and advice on this matter. I have sacrificed seven years for my family,my husband,why cant he do the same for me?How do I make my husband see reason with me? Or should I forget about the job? This is a one time opportunity to good to loose. I am so confused,please guide me.
Photo Credits: Greatist