Tuesday, August 4, 2020
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I Put In So Many Years Into this Marriage:Finally Ready To -PT 2

Read Part 1 of this story by clicking here.

Part 2

The problem I am having now is that one of my siblings called me this morning and was begging me not to continue with the separation plans because he has turned born again all of a sudden because of the corona virus incident although he was religious before. He quoted all the portions of the Bible that condemned marrying again after divorce.

I read every thing and became depressed and confused. He also promised to talk to my husband as if it will be the first time they have been talking to him. My husband that promised to come home last Xmas but disappointed me again.

I called him and begged him to come back this January because I needed sex he got angry and said I was putting pressure on him, the next thing he did was to switch off his phone on my ear not even a world of encouragement or consolation.

Now, Should I continue with the emotional pains and penury I am passing through in my marriage or should I disobey the Bible and be happy for once in my life after 15 years of marriage? What about the man I have promised to marry, whom I have given all my words never to disappoint? Remember I told u before that my husband has stayed 7 years without coming home even when he came he treated me like an idiot.

He has cancelled many of my business plans, he wants me to continue in my teaching job which is not favoring me. He is not ready to come back to Nigeria, he is not ready to take us with him, loneliness is threatening my life. since I turned 40, my desire for sex has changed seriousness, I become honey frequently and all of a sudden I have started masturbating and gradually becoming addicted to it.

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I know I am not ready to sleep with another man as some of my friends are advising me to do except I am married to the person, I also want to make heaven. Now which one is better, to marry another person or to continue in the addiction of masturbation?

That’s what I send to him hoping he will get a sign of my divorce plan and make amend but he ignored and did not say a word till in the evening of the previous day that he started calling but I didn’t pick

My children and I followed my cousin to her home yesterday because I couldn’t stay alone again. We are there now and plan to be there till the whole thing is over.

And I would wish my first story be referred to if it is still available to help people get the origin of the story.

See how my message to him:





























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Thank you ma and apologizes for the inconveniences

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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello Madam,

    Yes, the bible says God hates divorce but He also gives conditions for divorce as a final option.

    That is why a separation would be ideal for you. You can plan for a temporary separation to give room for any possible reconciliation.

    If that fails,that means your husband does not want the marriage and you are free to go.

    He has also committed adultery with the other woman so really,he already broke the marriage vows.

    Loneliness and depression are two big killers….you do not deserve to die cos of a failed marriage.

    There are many divorces who will make heaven. God does not judge you if your marriage failed . He wants your heart for Him. And you cannot serve God properly if you are depressed . Depression is a demon. You need to pick yourself up and start your life all over again.

    As for remarrying…you need to wait until there is no longer hope for reconciliation,then get legally separated. The bible recommends the divorced person to remain unmarried but if that will cause you to sin(commit fornication) you should get remarried.

    That man who is promising to marry you should chill. Let him sort his issues with his wife (married legally or not) before he comes for you.

    You do not want to jump from frying pan to fire right?

    You need time to sort yourself…heal from the depression and years of loneliness if your marriage does not survive a reconciliation.

    So my dear: sit up…start planning…let your families get involved. Call him to come for a discussion and possible reconciliation. If that does not work,file for temporary separation. I hope that turns things around…hopefully he comes back to his senses…

    But if all fail…please free yourself…God does not get glorified by your depression and suffering.

    Just make sure that you have a financial plan if the marriage finally breaks. He may not support you…so what are you going to do for money? You need a steady job or business…start working on that…

    More importantly…start working on your mental health…come out of depression….no one is worth making you sad…you have healthy children…love them…get involved in happy activities. Stop dwelling in the past and its pain.

    Tell yourself,you will come out of this. Read up the story of “Nonso N Obijiofor” on our blog. Her story should inspire you.


    All will be well.Cheer up and its time to move forward.

    God bless


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